Denying Love - (Will Singe/The Collective Fan Fic)

Chapter 2

Rose's POV

"Rose can you please be a sweetheart and take these to table four" Maggie asked pushing two plates forward in the counter.

"No worries I'll take them now" I replied picking up the plates and delivering them to the table as requested.

"Here you go" I said as I placed the meals in front of two customers. "Hope you enjoy your meals and make sure to give us some feedback"

The man didn't acknowledge me too much he was too busy getting ready to stuff his face but at least the lady looked up and smiled at me nodding her head, "Will do".

At least some people have manners I thought as I turned around, a fake smile still plastered on my face. When I got back to the counter I let it drop.

"If it was socially acceptable to slap rude people then my god a lot of people in this world would have red cheeks and sore faces" I stated leaning with my arms crossed on the counter.

"Don't slap my customers" Maggie warned shaking her finger at me. She was in her early 40's so she was like a mother to me. She listened to my problems and gave me advice and I loved her for it.

She had a husband who passed away a couple years back from cancer so she knew what I was going through and that's what made us closer.

She was a beautiful woman, slim with ginger hair a little longer then mine but pulled back into a rough pony tail. She could probably get a date easily but she was never ready. How do you move on after losing the love of your life?

"Don't worry I said 'if' and unfortunately it's not socially acceptable so I won't" I said pushing my black hair behind my ears.

"Good. Now go get yourself a table and ill bring out a coffee for you" she shooed me away.

I smiled at her before making my way to the back booth with all my sheets of paper spread over it.

I started re-reading over what I had written to check that I was happy with it.

I wrote poetry you see and a couple nights a week, always on a Sunday and sometimes a day in the week I would read one on the stage in this cafe.

I guess it became my way of coping after my parents accident. Well, my better coping mechanism. My first coping mechanism didn't work out so well but that was in the past.

They said it was a drunk driver that ran them off the road, they never found him. Hit and run they said. The evidence never lead them anywhere.

This all happened 5 years ago when I was 14. I moved in with my Aunt who wanted nothing to do with me. First chance I got when I was 17, I left.

I'd gotten into poetry when I was 16, around about the time I started dancing again. So I write poetry and dance. Seems angelic but I definitely don't look the part with my jet black, shoulder length hair, fishnet stockings under my black short shorts and ankle high studded boots. Add a black singlet under my black leather jacket, yeah I didn't look that friendly. Almost gothic is what i think they called it. I was friendly, I just preferred to be left alone and darker colours suited me.

I didn't always wear full black but today I did just because it reflected my current mood.

I recited the poem once again in my head as Maggie came by and placed my coffee underneath me.

"You're on in about 5 minutes" she said as she set it down.

"Yeah ok" I nodded making her smile as she returned to serving customers.

I lifted my head sighing to see a pack of boys laughing enter the cafe. They weren't bad looking if you asked me but I didn't really take a lot of notice.

One of them turned his head and smiled at me. I returned a half smile with an eye roll making him chuckle and continue to the booth on the other side of the cafe.

I was used to people giving little stares here and there. Even I could admit I look a bit depressing sometimes.

I caught Maggie's gaze and she gave me a nod letting me know it was time to go up so I grabbed my piece of paper and made my way onto the stage.

I used to get nervous but not anymore, I was used to it now.

"Hey everyone" I greeted catching people's attention. "As the regulars will know Sunday night is Poetry night and for those who don't, now you do. I'm going to kick it off like always before a few other regulars stand up and if you want to present something feel free to just stand up and take the mic. Preferably after the other person has finished reading theirs" I added making people laugh.

I then took a deep breath before reading out from my sheet.

"I awake each morning to start a new day

But the pain of loosing you never goes away.

I go about the things I have to do

And as the hours pass I think again of you.

I want to call you and just hear your voice

Then I remember that I have no choice

For you are not there and now my heart cries

Just to see you again to tell you goodbye

To say Mama I love you and I always will

And hope that much of you, in me you've instilled.

The day that you left I just didn't know

That you were going where I couldn't go.

And now all my memories of you are so dear

But gosh, how I miss you and wish you were here"

I looked up to see the sadness on people's faces as always but they still gave me reassuring smiles. You'd think after 5 years it would hurt less and it does but it never stops hurting and poetry is how I continuously say goodbye.

"Thank you" I smiled which always reassured people that I wasn't going to break down.

They applauded as I left the stage and another girl took my place with a happier poem to life their spirits.

I sat back at my bench and Maggie passed me giving me a boost of confidence, "beautiful once again sweetheart" she smiled. I returned her smile and started to drink my coffee while packing away my sheets and listening to the other readers as I did so.

Some of these people week after week produced amazing poems and they were really sweet to listen too.

I looked up at the boy on stage as he read his poem when I started to feel someone watching me.

I turned my head to see the boy from earlier staring at me. I was kind of creeped out. I got that I looked a bit funny but enough to stare at for this long?

He smiled as me again but I just looked away trying to ignore him and not encourage him.

Out the corner of my eye I saw him turn back to his friends so I quickly grabbed my bag, said goodbye to Maggie and left.

I usually wouldn't dare leave early on Poetry night but his stares has unsettled me so I just couldn't stay any longer.

I hopped into my small car and drove home trying to get his face out of my head.