Denying Love - (Will Singe/The Collective Fan Fic)

Chapter 22

Uploading during a spare. Sorry it wasn't earlier. Wattpad wasn't working on the computer for some reason this morning. I promise you all I do see the votes and I do update it as soon as I can get my hands on a computer xx

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Chapter 22

Rose's POV

*Just after Will let the party*

I stood in absolute shock with tears still dreaming down my face. I could no longer see Will over the heads of the many people staring back at me.

What had I just done? I wasn't even sure what I had done. Did I really need to kiss some random stranger to prove things to myself that I clearly knew already?

I'd just ruined everything. And the worst thing was I had done it to the person I just discovered I loved.

"Rose, what happened?" Nikki asked coming up and grabbing me by the shoulders. 

"I screwed it all up" I whispered unable to move.

"What do you mean you screwed it up?" She asked concerned. Obviously she had missed the whole scene that just occurred.

"He deserves better than me" I cried and she looked shocked.

"Sweetie what did he do?" she asked supporting me with her hands as I started to collapse.

"Nothing" I cried shaking my head. "It was all me. It's always me"

"Rose you need to speak to me I don’t understand" she said looking me in the eyes.

"I kissed someone Nikki" I sobbed making her open her eyes wide in surprise. 

I couldn't stay there with her knowing that she was soon look at me with disgust just like all the other people surrounding us.

I could almost feel their glares burning holes in my back and I deserved every single one of them and more. I broke away from Nikki and ran out the back door grabbing out my phone in the process.

It rang only a few times before I got an answer.

"Please don't tell me this is a drunken call from you" Sky answered the phone with a laugh.

"Sky" I sobbed, my voice breaking as I did.

"Rose what's wrong?" she asked instantly becoming concerned and detecting my pain like she always does.

"Can you come and get me please?" I sobbed uncontrollably leaning up against a tree and running my fingers through my hair.

"Where are you?" she demanded instantly.

I gave her the address and I only had to wait about 10 minutes before I saw her familiar car pull up. But by then it had started raining so I was now soaked and shivering. I ran up and dove in to face a concerned looking Sky. 

"Here" she said handing me a tissue to wipe my eyes.

'Sky I..." I started to tell her but she stopped me.

"Shh" she silenced me. "You can tell me when we get home and get you changed ok?" 

"Ok" I nodded softly my voice squeaking as I did.

It didn't take us long to get back to Sky's. The longest part was when I had to have a shower and get changed into fresh clean clothes.

By the time I had done all that, I walked back into Sky's lounge to find her sitting there with a cup of hot chocolate on the table waiting for me.

She was nice and calm holding her own cup of hot chocolate and sending me small reassuring smiles as I walked over and sat down.

We both sat in silence for a while before I spoke. "I don't deserve this" I whispered.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly.

"I don't deserve a friend like you to treat me so highly. Not being the bad person I am" 

"You’re not a bad person Rose" she said slightly frowning at me.

"You haven't even heard what I did" I whispered almost not wanting to tell her because I felt so ashamed. Would she look at me differently?

"What happened back there Rose?" she asked me the question I had been dreading to answer.

"I kissed Will" I started off on the good note.

"That’s good" she smiled at me. "How was it?" 

"It was wonderful. It was as if for years I had been searching and now I've found what I'm looking for" I smiled just remembering the touch of his lips on mine.

"So why aren’t you happy?" 

"Because I was stupid enough to question and deny my feelings that I knew deep down were there" I said in disbelief. She looked at me waiting for me to elaborate so I continued. "I kissed some random guy. And Will saw"

"Oh Rose" Sky sighed with sympathy. 

"I ruined everything" I cried.

"I'm sure you haven't" she tried to reassure me.

"You didn't see his face" I said shaking my head. "He was so upset"

"Why did you do it?" she asked softly. I could tell she wasn't accusing me at all. She just wanted to understand as I'm sure many others did. 

"I thought maybe if I kissed another guy then maybe my feelings for Will would disappear. Maybe I would finally be able to understand my feelings" I said. "And it worked"

She looked at me with hope in her eyes waiting for me to tell her and I could feel my eyes watering again.

"And I love him Sky" I sobbed. "He broke through and now I love him"

"That's great" Sky beamed but I shook my head.

"No. It's not" I said looking up and the ceiling and then back at her. "Because I just broke his heart"

Tears started falling down my face once again and Sky came over to the couch and engulfed me in a hug. She started rubbing small circles on my back to sooth me but nothing was working.

I pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "What do I do?" I pleaded hoping for a response.

"I don't know" she admittedly sighed. "I honestly don't know"

And my heart sank. Maybe I'd blown my chances of ever being with Will again. Maybe this really was the end before it even began.

"But what I do know is that you'll be ok" she assured me. "Ok?"

I nodded weakly and she pulled me back into a hug but truth be told, I wasn't sure that it would ever get better.

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Another competiton early tomorrow morning! Wish me luck :D 

x Shez x