Always (A Lena Mantler x Reader love story)

•13: I wish you were

Do you know that one feeling? The feeling as if no mountain seems too high, no ocean too deep and no sky too dark to make it a beautiful day? As if you could conquer the world whilst only using your pinky? It's this feeling of self-confidence and nothing seems to be able to stop you, nothing, not even a giant troop of aliens landing on earth, not even the dinosaurs coming back and attacking the human race. Absolutely nothing can turn down this very present feeling of euphoria. When everything went wrong and time or fate or whatever people nowadays believe in, has finally given you the outcome you had deserved and waited for so incredibly long. It was this feeling that was now rushing through y/n from head-to-toe. Everything grew warm with euphoria and it felt like that little cube, or well it had grown enormously large over time, it had finally disappeared. Y/n could finally breathe again after hearing that simple line. 

Can we talk was all y/n needed to hear for her lungs to work again.

"Y/n" she heard Lena's timid voice coming from behind. "Please answer. Yell at me, be mad, whatever you're thinking right now, just say something." She begged. 

It was right then that y/n noticed she hadn't been saying anything nor showing any emotion on her face since her thoughts had roamed miles away from the table she was sitting at. A slow but steady smile appeared on her lips and the fear in Lena's eyes slowly started to fade away in a moment full of unspoken words. Y/n stood up and walked towards the couch Lena was sitting on. "I've been waiting for that sentence since the party. Last week I thought I had finally given you up and now you're here, proving once again, that I just can't let you go." She admitted with quivering lips, trying to hold back a stream of words she never wants to speak out loud containing the words 'I love you' and 'I missed you so fucking much'. 

A tear fell down her cute, squishy cheek and Lena was doing everything to hold herself back from wiping that tear away and laying her hand ever so delicate on that cheek. She did it anyway. "You know, I tried dating." Lena scoffed at that and mumbled a tense 'yeah I know', "It didn't really work out, just because of this stupid reason you may think. I kinda feel bad for Max." She let out a breathy laugh as another tear rolled down her cheek and Lena wiped it away again.

"I'm sure you had a valid reason that wasn't stupid, what was the reason anyway?" Her words sounded so soft and so vulnerable as if she was talking to a dying kid, but y/n wasn't dying, it bothered her. Lena was always the strong one, not one to fall apart. 

"You." y/n choked out expecting Lena to laugh at her but when she looked up she only saw a confused expression on that immaculate face. "I was comparing him with you every chance I got. It's stupid because you weren't even my girlfriend  -I wish you were-  yet every time we cuddled I thought of you and how your cuddles were softer and warmer. Every time we had a nice conversation I thought of you and how our talks were longer and funnier. Every time he held my hand I thought of you and how your hands are more delicate and smooth. Point is you were just always in my head and my guilt towards him grew because he should've been the one in my head, my knight in shining armor, but you were the princess who pushed him off his horse." 

A mocking grin grew on Lena's face. "Princess huh? Lisa told me u thought that was gross because that's what dad's called their daughter?"

"Oh shut your mouth, I was being romantic!" Y/n shoved Lena's shoulder and released a throaty laugh. 

The blonde smiled down at her freckled dork and suddenly her face fell and y/n grew nervous again and all the tension came back as fast as it had left. "I'm so sorry." Y/n reached out and stroked the cheek that had held a smile just a second ago. "Don't be, I'm sure we both made mistakes." She assured the elder one. "No, No you don't get to say that when all you did was suffer for an unknown reason," Lena told her sternly and moved away from y/n's hand on her cheekbone.