𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄. chapter sixteen; Back to Scotland " Is that what he believed? "
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SEBASTIAN DE POITIERS had been carrying a weight on his shoulders, and when he saw Elspeth sitting in the infirmary, where he had once been laying, this weight multiplied.
"Elle. . ."
Despite herself, a smile graced her bruised features. She held out a hand, beckoning the man closer. He obliged, grabbing it as he sat beside her.
"Hello, Sebastian," She spoke quietly, "Did they hurt you at all?"
His throat was tight but he spoke despite it, "No, I'm alright."
"That's good news," Elspeth smiled, "I heard there's news from the Vatican-- Catherine asked that I rest and heal before I joined any activities."
"Mary and Francis are to be wed," Sebastian said, frowning as Elspeth grinned, "But. . . Henry wishes for her to lay claim to the English throne."
"Oh, Mary," Elspeth spoke sadly, sighing deeply, "I can only hope. . ."
Sebastian knitted his eyebrows as she trailed off.
"What's upsetting you?" Elspeth questioned, scooting closer to him.
He shook his head, holding her hand.
"Sebastian, if something is weighing on you, please," She urged, "Let me carry part of this weight for you."
And Sebastian sighed, casting his eyes down for a long moment before he spoke.
"I can't offer you anything more than you have now," Sebastian spoke quietly, "Not even protection, Elspeth."
"Those men were cruel and wild, like animals," Elspeth spoke strongly, "You cannot blame yourself for anything that happened-- and the worst didn't even come true, Sebastian."
"You don't understand."
He wanted to tell her. Tell her of his mother's wild plans, of her schemes, and how they would only continue to hurt Elspeth.
But he couldn't.
"Then tell me," She tried.
"You'll be marrying down," Sebastian tried, he tried in any way to persuade her-- he wasn't good enough. For a million reasons he wouldn't speak, but a million more he could. "I have nothing, I am nothing."
"You're the man that I am in love with," Elspeth persisted, her hand lingering on his cheek, "You have my heart. You have me. Forever, Sebastian."
He closed his eyes, whether in comfort or defeat or a twisted mixture of the two.
The last thing he wanted was to lose her. Especially because of his mother's wild imagination. He had put her in far too much danger-- the Pagans, the Italians-- so Sebastian De Poitiers decided if he couldn't convince her that he wasn't a good enough man, he would just have to become a better one.
