P.S....I love you //l.s//

2. Chapter

"Lewis move your fat overdized ass out of your bed Paul is on his way to pick us up we have an interview in half an hour! How is it you're always fucking late!!"

And another day of being woken up like this.. a few years ago things have been different. It was loving and soft when he woke me up but now it's just loud and harsh and hurtful. Ive never been Kate to anything in my life but if they simply don't tell me anything and depend on Harry to give me information.. or maybe I could just ask I guess.. its probably not his fault. Its my own.
I know I'm fat and I know my ass is too but he didn't need to remind me again. Really.. that's the last thing i need right now. I slowly got up before I looked at him. He just left my room. I put on some black jeans and a red long sleeved vans shirt. That'll do..
I looked into the mirror. The shirt was tight and showed of the little muffin top that was pushed out of my jeans but who cares. Why loose the weight when I wont be around much longer anyways.
I styled my hair before went downstairs to put on my shoes.

"Ugh could you at least try to look decent for once?! You look like a girl in those pants.."

And for the first time in ages I answered.

"Eh what?!? Ive been dressing like that for almost 2 years. Even before you started to be such a horrible asshole and you didn't seem to have a problem with the way I dressed back then so spare me the unnecessary comment okey? I get enough of those. Thanks."

"Oh Louis! Don't try to talk to me like that. You're lucky we have to leave now.. Poor fucking little crybaby cant handle some criticism. You'll regret this."

Before I was able to say anything else he stormed out of the door and I was left there in the hallway by myself regretting I even opened my mouth in the first place.
Oh.. yeah by the way a lot of times it doesn't just stay at verbal insults.. once in a while I do get punched or pushed by him. I hate when he does that even tho it's not as bad as being insulted. He just looks so different when he does it.. not like the Harry I fell in love with. It's like he's another person and it makes everything so much worse.. it scares me. Even tho he seems innocent he's the one who could cause the biggest trouble out of the boys.. it's just that they and also the Fans don't know about that but I quickly shook that thought off and left the house. I climbed into the Car where the other boys were waiting already and squeezed myself next to Liam and Zayn. The drive was short and when we arrived we quickly jumped out of the car.
We walked into a building where a girl lead us into a room. Another young lady was waiting there and we sat down on a sofa where I made sure to have as much distance to Harry as possible.
Skipping a big introduction the woman instantly started with questions. It was the usual Whos single, Whos taken, what are your next goals and what would you do if questions. So... boring and a chance for me to stay quiet for the most part. Nobody was interested in my answers anyways. All the questions were checked by our management so nothing majorly interesting or surprising should come up and exactly that suspicion became reality so after about half an hour we said our goodbyes and left.

The only thing I wanted to do right now was to go home. My arm hurt a lot and I just needed some alone time and some silence away from the boys and away from Harry.

"Who wants some NANDOOOOOOOOS?????"

"Don't see why not I'm hungry anyways."

"Sure Nialler why not."

Harry agreed as well so I didn't have much of a choice but to join them. That's it for alone time I guess. Paul drove us to Nandos and we walked in. As usual fans recognized us but Paul made sure we would have some privacy while enjoying our food. Niall came back with a ton of food and the others got something as well just I didn't get anything.

"Lou iis everything ok? You don't seem to eat a lot recently..", Liam looked at me and seemed to be worried but I just answered telling him I'm not hungry at the moment and that i might be coming down with a little cold. It's not like I want to lose weight.. I just really don't feel hungry. I lost my appetite. It's been like this for a week but I just can't get anything down. Everytime I try to eat I end up feeling sick so I just don't do it. Maybe it's a bad idea but what thing in my life ever turns out to be good anyways. Why not doing the wrong thing then.
Also.. it doesn't matter anyways I'm gonna be gone soon enough and it doesn't matter if I'm skinny or fat then so nobody needs to worry about me.

After Niall finally finished his food we decided to go home and I instantly rushed to my room but sadly Harry had other plans for me..

"finally realized how fat you are?! It's about time."

I decided to ignore it and walked into my room. I really didn't feel like fighting right now I just wanted to lay down and do nothing but think.. because there was still one thing I didn't know.. am I writing letters? I mean.. Zayn, Liam and Niall somehow are my friends.. so do they not deserve knowing the reason? And Harry.. shouldn't he know that I loved him? My family had the right to get a goodbye.. but I just didn't know how. I decided to leave so maybe a goodbye would be appropriate.