P.S....I love you //l.s//

6. Chapter

*Harrys Pov*

I didn't say goodbye when I left to meet the boys. He didn't want to join us and I just accepted it. His decision. Probably better that way.
After a few hours of trying to not get mobbed by fans Niall decided we need to grab some food or more like he needed to. Even though I didn't want to since I was ready to go home we went to Nandos so half an hour later we sat there with Niall being busy stuffing his face with food and we all just checked our phones for a while after we finished and Niall was starting to eat what seemed to be his main course... at a fast food restaurant. Silly guy.
I saw a notification from Twitter pop up and opened it. It was from Louis and he mentioned me.. weird he never even tweets anymore.

Always in my heart @Harry_Styles.

Yours sincerely Louis

What was that.. why did he tweet that? Weird. On the inside I was smiling like crazy and I was kind of excited about it but on the outside I pretended to be mad. They cant know. They wont know.

"Why would he Tweet bullshit like that?! Is he out of his fucking mind? Ugh the fans will lose their shit and get on my nerves and fuck the media!!"

The others looked at me completely confused until I showed them the tweet and they became even more confused. Giving each other a quick look as if to figure out what to say.

"Ouhy ould he weed dat?"

"Niall swallow your food before you talk.. ugh disgusting. But I don't know.. why would he? He tweeted this ages ago.. why again??"

Liam shrugged and Zayn just stayed quiet checking his phone to see the tweet and the comments it already got. Plus the not so nice message we instantly received from our manager.
At  the same time I noticed that right after the tweet i got a text message that I overlooked being too busy with the tweet.

Text Message from Louis:

I love you xx

What? Why? Now I was completely confused..even the others knew that something was up and they asked me what's wrong but all I could do was give them a quiet answer..

"He loves me...", I was shocked. I always called him gay but I didn't know that I was right! I.. fuck.. And he loves me?? Louis Tomlinson loves me?? Now I had to smile I couldn't stop it anymore. For months I was fighting against my feelings for him.. treated him like shit to make myself hate him and stop loving him.. insulting him for what actually was my problem.. it was so wrong but I didn't think about it I just wanted my feelings to be gone.. i was overwhelmed and I was acting without thinking. I was scared he'd never love me the way I love him. Did it help? No. I love Louis and he loves me.. I felt so bad for all the things i said and did to him but at the same time I had a big fat smile across my face. If he texted me this maybe he's not mad.. maybe he can forgive me?

"LARRY!!!!!!", Liam instantly put his hand in front of Niall's mouth.

"Niall!!!!! Shut your mouth there are others here!!!!!"

"Maybe Niall is right.. soon...", I looked at Niall and smiled again. I couldn't hold back anymore.

"But... I can finish my food before you go home and start snogging him can I?"

"Sure idiot but hurry up!!!", I just wanted to see him now but what's a couple minutes more.. I hope he can forgive me for the way I treated him.. I don't know if it's possible but I need to tell him how sorry I am and why I did it.. maybe we can fix it together. Maybe he'll give me a chance and we can finally be together. For over a year now that's all I wanted. And it was harder and harder to fight those feelings but.. he loves me. I was so happy I just needed to go to him now and when Niall was done with his food after what felt like an hour we instantly left to get into the car. Paul brought me home after he let all the other boys out at their place since it was easier to drive that way even tho I begged them to let me get home quicker.. apparently they enjoy torturing me but once i finally arrived I ran to the door and opened it.

"Louis???? Louis!!!! Lou!!", I walked into the kitchen and the living room but he wasn't here. He's probably in his room again. Oh no what if he's scared Íll get mad again? I opened his door slowly not wanting to scare him but he wasn't here.
I could faintly hear music coming from the bathroom and thought maybe he went to take a shower. I went to my room and changed taking out the shirt I bought him. I was going to give it to him.. I didn't know how yet since I didn't want it to look like a present but now I was hoping he liked it and maybe he'd be happy about a little gift. I walked back to the bathroom wondering what took him so long but I couldn't hear any water so after another 5 mins I decided to knock.

"Lou? Can I come in?? Are you done yet?"

No answer.

"Louis... I got your message.. let me in please we need to talk. Please?? I'm not mad I promise I just need to talk to you.. I know what i did was horrible I can explain it.. Please let me in.."

Still nothing. This started to become weird and I knocked again. Was he ignoring me?

"Louis? Are you okey? Is something wrong? Do you want me to go? Are you angry? I mean I'd totally understand if you're angry I just.. please I need to talk to you."

Stupid question.. obviously he's mad at me..
Maybe his phone was in there.. I mean there was music playing.. so I tried calling him and I heard his phone go off but he didn't pick up.. and didn't end the call. Weird..
I slowly started to worry. What if he fell asleep in the bathtub? Maybe he wasn't even taking a shower but took a bath..
I tried to open the door but it was locked. Shit..

"Louis say something you're worrying me!!!!" ...Nothing.

I quickly grabbed my wallet and took a coin to open the lock by turning it around and when I heard a little click I knew I succeeded. I opened the door and looked around the bathroom until my eyes stopped searching the room only able to look at one spot.
No.
He was laying there.. blood everywhere and his eyes were closed. His phone was next to him and I recognized the song that was playing.. it was my song.
Next to him was a little box, an almost empty bottle of vodka and a razor blade.
This can't be real. I rushed over to him and dropped to my knees next to his pale body. His lips were blue and when I checked I realized he wasn't breathing.
No no no no!!!!
I started to cry in panic. No this isn't real! It cant be.

"Louis no!.. please don't die.. please Lou I love you Louis you can't die now I'm so sorry Louis I'm so so sorry please please don't die lou you can't.. I need you lou please I love you don't do this to me don't die!!!!!!"

I was so scared. I grabbed towels and pressed them onto his arms that were still bleeding a little while I was sitting in his blood but I didn't care about that I just needed him to live maybe it wasn't too late. I didn't want him to die. This is all my fault.. i just.. i should've come here right away. Why did I wait! Why did i waste so much time! Why did I treat him like that.. this was my fault.. this was all my fault.. fuck.

"Louis please.. I love you!"

I couldn't calm myself down and I lifted his lifeless body into my arms and kissed his forehead while holding him close. He's so cold..

"Please.. no."

My hand was shaking when I took my phone to call an ambulance and then Liam.

"Liam please. You need to come here please!"

"Harry why are you crying."

"Liam please!"

"ill be there soon!"

I threw my phone away and cried while holding Louis the way I should've done it months before.. he can't die now. He just can't. I love him I can't lose him now! I love him so much.. if he dies now I can never forgive myself. Never! If I was just here sooner.. It's my fault.
After a while I heard the ambulance coming and two people rushed into the bathroom with Liam and the other boys right behind them. They took Louis from me and I just started screaming. I'm finally able to hold him they cant take him away from me!!! Liam held me letting me cry into his shoulder and holding me back while Niall hugged Zayn tightly. Niall cried as well. After just a few seconds we knew it.. Louis is dead. I was too late.