Lost And More Importantly, Loved

Chapter 2

Authors Note: Hi! First of all, if you're reading this, I can't tell you how thankful I am. It's been awhile since I've completely invested myself into writing a story and let alone publishing it on here. I just wanted to acknowledge that my readers and feedback are my biggest support and motivation. Thank you so much. (I know this is weird being written here but anyway) Also, you may come across different povs as the story progress.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Stella

The wind tickled my cheek as I feel his hands brush against my skin and his body shadows over mine, the silver chain stings with a sharp chill as it lays itself delicately around my neck. We were sitting in our favourite corner of the library again, the one with the small little window which let gentle afternoon rays of sun kiss us with warmth. As I look down examining this necklace, it was an iridescent gemstone enclosed in a firm framework. It looked beautiful, so much, that a smile formed between my lips thinking what'd I'd done to deserve such a jeweled gift.

"I told you it wasn't necessary to get me anything."

"And I told you, let me get you this one thing. Just one."

I roll my eyes at Callum in defeat, and he smirked with satisfaction. I then, laid my head down onto his lap and then stared at his face which always gave away no expression. He stares back, not letting his attention avert - this makes my nervous system malfunction but is incitingly comforting at the same time. My eyes start to close abit, everything in me turns soft.

"Callum?" I say, relaxed, in complete contentment.

"Yes Stella?"

"I love you."

"I love you too-"

Suddenly, when I find myself wanting to open my eyes again, it remains shut. I begin to hyperventilate.

"Callum!" I scream, only to hear my own voice echo with fear.

I jolted awake, with sweat running down my forehead and tears fill my eyes. I clench my hand in frustration, only to find the necklace in the palm of hand. The diamond seems to be held captive, just like the recollection of him - a prisoner to my mind.

My mind is clouded with memories of him, every touch, every scent, every stare and every moment we've shared. So much love for him is stored safely inside of me, that it would take ripping my soul apart to dig it all out. This intensity of love is etched into my skin with nowhere to go. The depth I feel is incapacitating, it makes me want to claw into my viens and let my memory bleed. But I've got no choice - my mind detains the thought of him, scolding at me about how treacherous it would be if I were to forget.

The alarm clock on my right does its daily beeping, pulling me out of bed and pushing me straight into routine. I do everything that's needed and have my breakfast last. I leave the apartment for work as soon as I dump the bowl right into the heep of dirty dishes on the counter.

I took part in a Interior design internship about year ago because my creativity bloomed there the most the most. Although the career path might be occupied by a constant workload, it's fun that my successes within the intern company, gained me my own office over the last few months. I guess I can tick that one off the box.

I arrive at the building and just as I want to enter, I catch a glimpse of myself. My left eyeliner wing doesn't correspond to right. Oh, this is bad, I thought. Avoidance was the key to getting to my office.

The stairwell is long and spiral. Lord knows why getting to the top floor is such a exhausting effort. Luckily, I make it into my office without being noticed. I sit down, in relief putting my head down on the desk.

"I didn't know Monday Blues were a thing." A voice said playfully.

Axel Price always made commentary that was unasked for. It takes me a minute to lift my head and glare at him. His cheeks glistened at my blank response. He had the kind of smile that looked like someone had it painted on, like he could wash it away at any given moment and you wouldn't recognize him without it.

"There isn't. That's just a person's way of subtly saying that they dread having to exist. Working most of their lives away just to maintain survival. Then just accept the inevitability of death."

"What a fun way to put our mortality!" He laughs.

"Oh it's only a pleasure."

"You're concerning."

"And you're annoying."

I press my lips together not wanting to let out a small smile. I have a theory about this. People who paint their own smiles could always paint others smiles aswell. I was thankful for a second but then my remarks came bubbling to the surface again.

"You can leave now."

"I'd love to, but I was burdened to tell you about the team going out for drinks tonight. Emily said we shouldn't ask you, just tell. So here I am, telling you."

"I'm not co-"

"See you after work!"

"Axel!"

---

It was 5pm. Emily, Axel, Joey and Terry all dragged me to the new nearest second floor bar on the main street. It had been trending for a month now and all of them had been dying to go. We all squeeze ourselves into a open booth, I sit at the end just in case I needed an easy escape.

20 minutes down the line and I've chugged so much alcohol into my system, I had lost count.
With Terry right beside me, he pats my back softly and tells me I should probably slow down. All of them gives off looks of concern.

"Hey Stella, why don't you and I go get some air?" Emily suggested.

"I'm fine." I say bursting into laughter.

"I'll take care of this, let's go to the balcony Stella." Terry suggested.

Axel and Joey exchange looks.

Terry helps me up, and I hook my arm around his. We step outside and the night air feels warm. My senses are tingling and I have the urge to spill my misery. We sit down on the bench, watching the stars light up all the darkness that surrounds us.

"You ever feel like the stars are our only hope in the darkness of this world?"

"I guess if you put it like that, it sounds like poetry."

"Everything is more than what meets the eye. People just tend to overlook the depth of things."

"Because what? They're so shallow?" Terry teases.

"Well, no." I punch Terry on the arm.

"Don't be so quick to judge, Stella."

I laugh it off, putting my head against his shoulder.
I appreciate talks with Terry, although I couldn't get myself to the point that I'd open up without caution. How could I even explain my desperate need to forget all the despair and count on the small ounces of hope?

Get over it, they'd possibly say.
The ease in those words disgust me. Because with the magnitude of me loving someone ... it just doesn't work that way.