Age is Our Only Enemy

Something Lost

        I sat on the couch, the TV on, lost in thought. I'm still really bothered by earlier and I don't know why. They're just a couple of words right? So what if he doesn't reply with the same exact thing every time? I jumped when the couch beside me moved, making me look up. Mark was staring at me, looking a bit worried. "You okay?" He asked.

        "Yeah I'm fine, why?" I replied.

        "You're voice is doing the thing that it does when you're upset." He said, playing with a strand of my hair.

        "It's nothing." I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. His dark brown eyes searched mine, making me nervous. "I love you." I said quickly.

        "I know, you told me this morning." He said, looking confused.

        "I know but...never mind it's nothing."

        "No it's something, what's wrong?" He said, wrapping his arms around me.

        I took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around his neck and cuddling closer and breathing in his scent. I just wanted a second to be in his arms before I tell him. "It's just that when I said I love you, you didn't say you loved me back."

        "You're being silly."

       I closed my eyes. "Then say it."

        "What?"

        "If you really do feel that way then prove I'm being silly. Say it." I buried my face in his neck, waiting.

        "You're just feeling insecure. You don't need to worry about my feelings for you." He said after a little while, slipping me out of his arms. I felt something in my chest break. He didn't say it.

        Mark kissed the top of my head and went upstairs, going into his office and closing the door. I sat for a while, a tear running a path down my cheek. Maybe he is right, I'm just feeling insecure. But he's been acting different too, it's not just that he's not saying he loves me anymore. He already spent a lot of time in his office, but he seems to never leave anymore. Most of the time he doesn't cuddle with me in bed, just stays on one side.

        Every once in a while he would wrap his arms around me, like when we were in the shower or a couple minutes ago, but it wasn't like it use to. His big brown eyes still make me melt and his voice and touch still make my heart flutter, but I'm not getting a reaction out of him like I use to. Another tear fell down my cheek as I made my way up the stairs, gathering my stuff and putting it in my old suitcase. 

        I fingered the pink mustache that always hung around my neck as I sat on the bed, wiping my tears away. I held an airplane ticket to Florida in one hand, folding it and putting it in my pocket. I didn't want to leave so soon, but if he doesn't feel anything for me anymore then there is no point of me staying. It'll just hurt both of us. After a second, I reopened my suitcase and grabbed one of his Markiplier t-shirts, replacing it with my favorite shirt, the one with a dragon on it. I rezipped my bag and carried it out to the hallway. 

        I dropped it outside Mark's office door, gently knocking. "Come in." He said.

        I opened the door and closed it behind me, watching Mark edit over his shoulder for a little bit, holding back tears. I went over and sat in his lap, cuddling close to him. "I really do love you Mark, you know that right? Forever and always." I kept my eyes on his face as he brought his attention to me.

        "You're acting weird." He pointed out. I gave him a small smile and kissed him softly, trying to convey everything I felt for him through that one kiss. He kissed back for a second, then pulled away. "I have to finish editing." He said. I nodded and got off, walking most of the way to the door.

        I looked over my shoulder at him. "Mark I'm leaving."

        "Okay, see you later."

        "No you won't." I whispered, leaving. There was only one more thing I needed to do. I grabbed a brochure for the college and placed it on his bed, so he knew where I went. I also wrote the same thing I told him on it; that I really do love him, forever and always.

        I walked out the door and to the street, hailing a taxi and getting him to drive me to the airport. I let a couple more tears fall as Mark's apartment got further and further away. The hole that was now left in my chest seemed to ache more and more, but I needed to leave part of my heart with him.

        Maybe, one day, I could get it back.