28/10/21
"I'm here for you" "I'll try my best to make you feel loved " " Whenever you need someone to rant to I'll be there".
Lies. All lies. When I needed someone to cry with me there was only darkness and my loneliness with me. No one saw the tears even when I was crying infront of them. Instead they blamed me that I'm weak, sensitive, negative. How easy is it to say "everything will be alright". "You'll see the light". Saying some people have more problems than me making me count their miseries.
Yeah I know you had more problems than me but "you" and "I" are not same. Maybe you are stronger, maybe you had that support, that Fighting spirit to fight with those demons inside of you. I don't. I can't. I'm tired. I don't want to feel like this. I want to be strong. Can I though ?
I don't even know why even I am like this. Nothing happened. I just feel like this. I don't know. Give up ? They'll be sad. Maybe not.
Numbness is all what I feel now. Tears won't come out even when my inside is screaming. I do smile but I don't. Still expecting for those lies to come true. That's all I do.
-late night diaries.
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Blue & Grey
Non-FictionA diary written by a suicidal and depressed soul going through the hardest time fighting her own inner demons. My diary. 💜
