30/01/22
Everything will be alright right ? When the morning comes ? I will forget all the night events... the fight... the Tears.... the sadness... the voices asking me to give up ?
We'll be a happy family again. I will laugh at silly jokes just to keep the atmosphere at my home light and not the opposite ?... She won't give me the cold shoulders and will not throw harsh words at me ?
These question kept me up all night... with the voices in my head... will it ever becomes easier ? Will I ever feel normal ?
It feels like I'm constantly sitting on a seesaw..... one moment I'm happy another I'm sad... up and down the cycle repeats.... until it's even scary to be haapy without the fear looming around that I'm gonna fall and the happiness will disappear into the gloomy darkness of my own mind, my own miseries, my insecurities, my feelings....questioning myself if I really am happy or if this is another imaginary dream of mine. Been Sitting in this darkness all alone... yes I had people trying to help but I couldn't reach out my hand to them... trying yet so hard to not throw out whatever this life I have left ....
Will it ever gets easier?
-late night diaries.
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Blue & Grey
Non-FictionA diary written by a suicidal and depressed soul going through the hardest time fighting her own inner demons. My diary. 💜
