Thingolwenkosazana:Choosen For Me

part 2

Tuesday

Well today I woke up with a heavy heart and decided to stay in I will deal with all the shit here at home went and took a shower and dressed in leggings and sweater it's kinda chilli outside I need to do my hair honestly natural hair can be a drag sometimes head to the kitchen and get something to eat shit I need to do groceries it's kinda empty the bell rings I wonder who it is I get the door and it's Londi

"Morning why you here so early "

"Wow I just got here and you don't want me already what's up??in fact leave that I'm here to talk" I make space for him and I go straight to the lounge.
"Sorry uhm nothing's wrong I just feel kinda off a bit..let me get my phone so we order something to eat I have nothing here" I get my phone and I get a text from Gugu I wouldn't say she's my friend cause we not that close but I chill with her she doesn't know the important parts of my life text* hey tee hope you good can we please go to newcafe with me I need someone to talk to I know our friendship isn't about that but please I'm begging you* Ohhh god I can't even give solid advice and I'm not in the mood jerrr....uggghh
"What's wrong why change your face" Londi
"Nothing....you know what let me tell you so look there's this girl Gugu we met in culinary school when I started and we kinda hit it off until she left without saying for the whole time I was there then she pop's up and she'd back again but only this time she's says culinary wasn't for her she chose beauty what what now she wants us to talk angazi honestly I don't .....jerrr"
"You cant be a loner all the time sis you need to go out I can't be the friend you need all the time you need to move on from Jabu no matter what you will meet him when you do but for now get someone who will be there for you and all that cause this what you doing isn't working" I look at him and feel like crying I never realised that I only had him to talk to and I made him my only friend and here he is telling me that I need to forget about the only friend I have here goes the story ka Jabu so when I was in high school Jabu was the guy boy you would spot from far he had the energy smile walk you name it and I always admired him I was in grade eight by then and he was doing ten one day I kinda messed on my self cause I started by period here I was crying and in walks Jabu found me there

{"What's wrong sweetie?"
  "I started my period and I stained the whole class is laughing at me"
"Okay listen let me get my toilery bag I will be back" I waited for him he got back.
"Before anything you need to teach yourself to never cry because of things that come to you naturally those kinda things happen to you by nature crying makes you weak always stand your ground no matter what cause we all know that such things happend crying won't fix it imagine it I never got here and found you crying were you gonna cry until when huh.....stop with the tears and stand you ground from today I'm your friend I see you and you always a loner I'm always around people always call me and I get sick of it at times you understand right"} . From there we were friends although my dad was kinda homophobic  Jabu made him understand him and we sort of changed cause of him we got so close did everything together and we had this unbreakable bond until he started getting sick to a point where doctors had no come back for him I dreamt of him all the time dying told my mom she went to Jabu place when she got back to told me they had moved I cried for three days and I kept asking myself was it me or he lied I  struggled to write my matric exams but I always played his words to push through I made it till today I don't know what happened to Jabu.
"Thingo.....nana hey ..." I look up and my brother has a worried face on"what's wrong are your okay"
"I'm fine just wondering if I will ever get to meet Jabulani Nkosi again I miss him sometimes honestly I really do but what can I say life goes on" I stood up when my buzzer got on and checked and saw its the delivery guy I walked to the gate got our food as you was getting back home I had a sharp pain in my heart
"Londi!!!Londisizwe!!!bhuti help!!!" He came out running I was on the floor already it got all black