Thingolwenkosazana:Choosen For Me

part 35

Thingolwenkosazane

I woke up at night cause I felt his presence although his sleeping I look at him and he looks like he has the world on hid shoulders but he still had secrets I look at him and his different I guess his been in gym I missed my boys birthday I heard all the said

"Why you crying?"he says close to me I look up and his looking down on me the moon is our light and I'm looking at his eyes they far gone my man isn't here his lost

"I miss the boys" I say and he nods and walks to the window and looks at me the moon kisses his skin so beautifully and it suits him we lock eyes again

"I'm sorry...since I've been in your life it's problem after the other I haven't known you for that long it's been what 1 year some months but I've brought so much heartache to you Thingo I'm sorry I really am I've done things to you...I...ii...I'm sorry" he says then he walks out I look at where he was standing and I drift off

It's been two days since I spoke and seen Nkosana he hasn't been here my mother came to visit and she didn't look okay she left a letter with Zikhali and she went for therapy vacation she says it was Nkosana and Mpendulo's idea I'm going home today I've given MaSakhile an off with pay though

I'm sitting in bed waiting for Langa to come get me I've been discharged he walks in with Mpume

"Hey sis are you ready?"I nod and stand up and get my bag and we walk out I'm walking infront and Langa clears his throat I look at him

"Thingo you still don't wanna see you children?" I look at him then Mpume and I turn and continue walking I haven't seen my babies yet I will see them once they born and it's said that only Nkosana the twins and I along with Mnguni and Zulu should bury them i just can't see them yet I walk to the car and my brother opens I sit at the back and the drive to my house is silent we get there and I get my bags I walk in and it's quite

"Friend"I turn and its Mpume I look at her "Ona will bring the boys tonight uhmm we not staying" she says and I nod

"Thank you"she nods we share I tight hug and she walks out I walk to my room and it's clean very clean I walk to the bathroom and I open some water I get in and soak myself and I get in my feelings my tears flow I'm hurt I'm really hurt I know it's not my first time loosing a child but this it's just to much for me to handle I just can't I get out the water and I clean the tub I walk to the room and wear my summer pj I get in bed after closing the curtains and I sleep we going to KZN tomorrow so I've been told

I don't know how long I've been sleeping but I wake up when I hear small hands slapping me I open my eyes and it's my boys they on the bed I smile and Sphiwe crawls to me Sbani is just looking at me no reaction or anything this child I wonder why his just him he hardly cries he does nothing and Sphiwe his something else I kiss Sphiwe and sit up and that's when Sbani comes to me he holds my stomach and I feel weird I look at him and his looking at me as well I turn my head to the closet and Nkosana is looking at us he picks his head up and we lock eyes he has black eye bags he doesn't look fine to me I wonder what's wrong

"I made food wash your face and come down"he says

"Okay"I stand up and walk to the bathroom we takes the boys after washing my face I get downstairs and he made something simple he made a hot salad with chicken breast and some pumpkin for the boys after eating we go to bed his not sleeping with me today to no are

One week later

It's been a week since we buried my children it was painful we named them Nkanyezi and Kwezi that were names given by Ngonyama I'm wearing black for a month only it was hard burying my babies but it's life Nkosana was my shoulder that day and he was just silent the twins didn't understand but that night Sbani gave us problems and Zulu said his siblings are connecting with him spiritually