aligning stars

Stranger to Lover

i.

I am an illusion, a trick of the light, watch me dance for you. I am here and not at all, you feel my waist in your hands but your words never quite reach my ears. My hands bleed onto your shirt and I am slipping. You are not the first one to touch me like this but you are the first to love me the way I've needed, to treat me like a human instead of the little girl I've been forced to play.

ii.

I am property, like land and goods up for grabs. I have been handed off my entire life. I was never born my own being, I was made sister, daughter, mother, wife. My father gave me to the next man and he knocked marks into my ribs like warning signs, do not run, you are mine. This man made me learn to disappear, fold like paper and slip through the cracks. I am a magic act, watch me fly away. Watch me turn into a shadow and run through your fingers like sand.

iii.

Feel my bones under my skin and know how they have been broken. Know that my scars still ache sometimes and my ring finger will always be a little crooked. Know that the ringing in my ears might not ever fade completely and that the nightmares may never truly go away. Know that you may never be able to put a pile of bones back together and that super glue, bandages, and hope are only temporary fixes. Know that my head still hurts a bit from the noise and that I might flinch sometimes because I am still learning to trust. I am still learning that things can change and that you can love me the way I've always needed you to. Do not blame yourself for the things he made me into.

iv.

Tell me I am your sun. Tell me I am warm. Tell me I can live in my own skin without being afraid. Tell me I am radiant. Tell me I am your light and I outshine the things that used to weigh me down. Tell me I am strong. Tell me this even though I already know it, I wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't true. Tell me you need me. Tell me that life can be okay. Show me what real love feels like.