Guilty Pleasures || Taegikook

Chapter Sixteen

Letting the warm water run down his face, Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, parting his lips just enough to exhale.

He thought- he'd hoped... Well, he isn't even sure what he hoped would come from walking in the door and dragging Taehyung into bed like he did.

Clarity? Confirmation? An epiphany maybe?

That's idiotic– and pathetic– if that's what his still mildly inebriated mind was grasping for.

He shouldn't need to fuck his fiancé in order to clear his mind of another man.

A man who just an hour ago Yoongi allowed himself to get drunkenly lost in and surrender to the muddled emotions– the memories– that had come rushing back.

God, he is such an idiot! If he keeps going on like this he is going to ruin every plan he and Taehyung have made for their future.

Yoongi felt like he was in the middle of some sort of drama. An unrealistically complicated and exaggerated one.

Like that American show Jin has become obsessed with where all the doctors have petty fights and sleep together, extraordinary medical miracles mixed in with all the romantic drama.

Yoongi recalls an episode that largely went by without any particular attention paid on his part that now seems all too relevant.

"Pick me. Choose me. Love me" one doctor had begged another and fuck if that isn't pretty damn close to how his conversation with Jungkook went.

He gulps as he tries to clear his airway of the emotional lump forming there.

Rolling his neck tiredly and raising his hand to brace his palm against the cold tile wall in front of him, he replays his conversation with Taehyung.

He thinks about the questions that were asked, the answers that were given, and the dagger of guilt driven deeper into his heart inch by inch with every word.

"I'm not going to pressure you, but I'm here for you whenever you are ready to talk. Whether it's tonight, tomorrow, a week, even a month from now. I'll be here." Taehyung had whispered so sweetly as Yoongi rested his cheeks against his naked chest.

He had been combing his fingers soothingly through Yoongi's hair, letting his blunt nails scratch his scalp lightly, allowing the genuine love and care he felt for Yoongi radiate from his core.

Yoongi could feel the words physically wrap him in a warm embrace.

Yoongi had gulped at the weight, feeling like he was ready to vomit.

Instead of expelling the contents of his stomach though, he– to his own dismay– started to share.

He began by telling Taehyung about how Jungkook made them both a meal they used to eat together.

How their conversation started out simple enough; Jungkook asking nothing more complex than what Yoongi had done that day.

Yoongi shared with Taehyung that his answer was equally as simple; telling him about his job before he'd asked Jungkook how his own job was going.

He explained how the air around them got noticeably heavier after that when he received the robotic, obviously disingenuous answer from Jungkook that everything was fine.

Taehyung laid beside him silently, continuing to card his fingers through Yoongi's hair as the older shared that it took a little coaxing before Jungkook allowed himself to be honest and confess how hard it has been for him to adjust.

How it is a bit easier now than it was at the very beginning, but he still feels like he's barely keeping his head above water most days.

He told Taehyung how Jungkook shared that he feels like everyone is constantly disappointed that he isn't as good as Yonjun was.