We Deserved Better ⤿ Stucky x Reader

fourteen ⤿ sleep

The first couple weeks back were strange to say the least, having to get use to the new age of things. Cellphone's were a thing, little portable telephones. Clothing was very different from what you were use to, the women didn't wear dresses as much as they did back in the olden days, the men's fashion was more laid back now too.

It was also nice to not have to wear the pointed bras either.

You kinda have just been staying in the house, the only people you have interacted with have been Steve and Bucky, and of course Alpine. The day Natasha came over to give you clothes you only peeked your head out of the doorway with an awkward smile. She only smiled back before continuing to talk to Steve.

The day had fallen and midnight was nearing quick, you sat on top of the bed in the spare bedroom on the second floor of the cozy home. The only light that was present was from the moonlight slipping through the window shades. Sleep lately had been a hard thing to come by, everytime you were just in its grasps you would be thrown out of its hold. Each night you seemed to remember more and more from the years of HYDRA.

The only time sleep seemed to happen was if you were asleep outside of Steve and Bucky's room. It was a strange thing but you would occasionally creep to where their room was and sleep outside of the door. You didn't sleep long, always waking up before either of the males would find you sleeping on the hardwood floor like a weirdo.

Currently a fluffy blanket was wrapped around your shoulders, your left hand out and scratching behind Alpines ear. She really had taken a liking to you, and same for you.

With a sigh you shift to lay on your stomach, the cat meowing in protest as you stopped paying attention to her. You couldn't help but laugh at her antics, she had such a big personality for such a little animal.

You almost envied her, she had the world at her paws and all she had to do was lay around, eat and play. It must be so easy to be a house cat, this little creature who had no responsibilities and the only thing she had to worry about was the next time her food bowl would be filled.

"Oh Alpine," You cooed, sighing once more as you rubbed at her soft fur. "You have it easy, don't ya?" She responded with a purr, she had to have been able to understand words. She was so responsive to almost everything. You rested your cheek on your arm, head facing the feline. Her blue eyes were closed, basking in the attention you were giving her. The sound of rainfall filled the room, it should be soothing and calming you, but the constant anxiety wasn't budging. It was to the point of you didn't even know what you were nervous about, this constant worry that felt everlasting.

You were always nervous and tired, mentally and physically tired. But sleep of course was hard to come by.

You knew the way to fix it would be to talk with the boys and figure out where you stood with them. Of course their relationship continued, but you felt so out of place around them and for what? You missed the olden days, missed the love and enjoyment you felt in life. You missed your rundown house, missed the patch of grass that never grew in the yard.

You missed everything, even the things you shouldn't miss about those days. Tears threatened to prick at your eyes, huffing as you shoved your face against the mattress to try and suppress the water works. You felt like all you did was cry or try not to cry lately, it made you feel like an idiot.

With yet another huff you pull your head up from being shoved against the bedspread, bottom lip falling into a small pout. You soon shuffled off the bed, keeping the blanket around your shoulders as you made your way out of the room, deciding to go be the weirdo you are and lay outside of Steve and Bucky's room.

Alpine padding along with you, letting out a soft meow which in turn caused you to shush her gently. It didn't take you long to get in front of their door and lay down against the wall, of course not laying right in front of the door in the odd case they opened it. You didn't really want them to trip over you in the rare case of them finding you curled up.