We Deserved Better ⤿ Stucky x Reader

six ⤿ fast

It was strange how quick time can pass sometimes. In December of 1943, after a small break, the Howling Commandos were off to France where a HYDRA facility was residing. You had traveled with them as well, aiding as their nurse in any serious emergencies or injuries. During the times that they were in destroying any HYDRA bases you usually were set up nearly a town over to make sure you were kept safe and away.

Soon it was January 1944 and you were in Belgium, then February in Poland. In August the group was in Czechoslovakia.

Then it was January 1945 and the boys were in Russia. December of 44' you had agreed to go back to the base in London to gather some more medical things that you were out of. You packed a lot, but it wasn't enough for some odd reason. During the time you were trying to head back a bombing had taken place, pushing your ability to leave far out of grasp as you decided to stay and help the injured.

The winter air was strange, a weird feeling had been wrapped around you for the past few days. This weight was pulling down on your shoulders as if something were trying to prepare you for something bad happening. But you kept shaking the feeling off and pinning it onto the constant anxiety you felt.

Currently you were helping organize some of the medical equipment at the hospital close to the London base. Since the bombing they needed extra hands at the hospitals and being as now you had medical experience, you were helping as much as you could. The closet you currently were in was rather small and very cold, your thick jacket still couldn't seem to keep the sharp cold out, even in the closet.

The hair on the back of your neck and arms felt permanently stuck up, but you weren't sure if it was because of the cold, or the nagging strange fear. Of what? You weren't sure. Quietly you started to hum a song to yourself, you couldn't remember the name of the song- or if it even was a real song.

A creak soon sounded through the room as the door slowly opened, causing you to let out a startled gasp, the small roll of cotton pads slipping through your fingers as they tumbled to the cold floor. The gasp turned into a shaky laugh as you saw a nurse standing at the door, she said your name in a question, with a nod you pick the cotton pad roll up off the ground and placed it back onto the storage shelf. "Yes, that is me." You replied with a smile, dusting your hands off on your uniform. "Is there something you needed?" You questioned, tilting your head to the side ever so slightly.

"There is a Miss. Carter here, she said to grab your things. She mentioned it was really important." Her words caused your ever so present anxiety to rise. With a nod the nurse shifted out of the door way so you could get through. You went and gathered your things as fast as possible before heading to the front desk of the hospital.

Wrapped in a long brown coat with her hair curled perfectly like always and a bag over her shoulder was none other than Peggy. Once you made your way to her, clutching your own bag against you, her back straightened. She smiled at you, but it didn't reach her eyes like a smile should. That only caused your nerves to spike even more, your hands starting to have a slight shake to them.

She jerked her head out the door, motioning you to start following her. "C'mon dear, we are going to the Whip & Fiddle." Her words only confused you, the bar she was referring to had been in the zone where the bomb went off, that bar was nothing but ruins and dust at this point. With furrowed brows you picked up your pace to get next to her. "But there isn't anything left of that place-" "Don't ask any questions right now." She soon shut you down, she was tense and nervous? She was hiding something from you and that only terrified you.

 ⤿ Soon you were stepping over the rubble, Peggy had stopped walking with you a few steps back. During the trudge here she didn't speak anymore, just walked on. A voice was heard over a loud speaker, telling citizens to remain inside until further notice. The sound of a siren was heard passing by as a breeze blew through. It was bone chilling, causing you to pull your jacket closer to you frame as you stepped over glass and wood to get inside the bar.

Your shoes against the floor alerted Steve, he was sat alone in the bar. Seated at a lone table with a glass in front of him as well as a bottle of alcohol. The male turned to look towards the broken doorway at the sound of clicking, after he looked at you for a moment he sniffled, reaching forward to pour more of the strong drink into the cup. You kept walking until you were standing next to the table, your body was trembling with nerves. Something was off, and you were afraid to voice what you were dreading.

"Doctor Erskine told me the serum, wouldn't just work on my muscles and my reflexes. he said it would work in my cells, create a protective system of healing, of regenerating. Which means.." As he spoke he stared down at the glass that was in his right hand. His voice was slightly raspy, he had been crying. His face was solemn. "I can't get drunk," he paused before looking at you. "Did you know that?" You shook your head, bending down to pick up a fallen over chair, placing it by the table before sitting down on it.

"Steve, I don't understand what's going on-" "Did you read the report?" He cut you off, looking down at his lap. "No, I've been working at the hospital." Your voice started to shake as you stared at him.

"Bucky's dead." His words ripped through you as he spoke them. You let out a breath of air as if someone had punched you, your hands resting on the table as if you needed to brace yourself for his words.

The moment you walked in to the bar you had this feeling of dread, this feeling of something horrible. This was the last thing you wanted and the first thing you expected. Hearing that one of your lovers were gone. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing would come out, you just stared at him with wide eyes and a slightly agape mouth.

"We were on a train, someone fired something that caused a blast to rip a hole through the wall." As he started to speak he couldn't look at you, he stayed facing forward. But you never took your eyes off of him. "Then someone aimed at me, he picked up my shield and shot his gun at him. But their weapons were so advanced. His gun was no use for them." He let out a shaky breath. "A blast got fired at him, he was shot out of the train. He managed to get a hold of the railing on the side of the train." His words started to shake.

"I climbed out to get him, I reached out to him and he reached out to me. Before I could grab him the railing he was holding onto broke. And he fell." Then the bar went silent between the two of you. You let the words seep in. Bucky was gone. "I'm going after Schmidt, and I'm not gonna stop until all of hydras dead or captured." Finally he looked to you, your eyes meeting his blue eyes that now lost their sparkle. You reached out your hand and placed it over his that was still holding the glass. "You won't be alone." you whispered out in a promise.

He shook his head at you, "You are staying here." He said firmly, staring you dead in the eyes. You had to bite back the scoff at that, moving your hand from his as you let them rest on your lap. "Like hell I am." You replied sternly, brows furrowing in. "I can't lose you also! I can't have your death on my hands too!" His voice was raised at this point, his hold on the glass tightening, nearly cracking it and shattering it in his hold.

The silence washed over you both once more, your shoulders falling as you two made eye contact, tears forming in his eyes. "Do you blame yourself?" You finally whispered out. You stood up and made your way in front of him, he shifted so that you stood between his legs, resting his head against your stomach as he let out a sob, his arms wrapping around you. He held you tightly against him, you soon wrapped your arms around him. One around his shoulders and one rubbing his back as you leaned your head forehead on top of his head.

"Its not your fault Steve." You feel him shake his head against you, causing you to sigh. "Darling, he wouldn't have blamed you. I don't blame you. This was out of your control." You kept your voice low and as smooth as you could. It was hard to not let your voice shake as you kept the tears at bay.

Your heart hurt deeply, everything felt like it was falling apart around you and you didn't know what to do. "Steve," you mumbled out, he pulled his head away from your body as he looked up at you with tear stained red cheeks. You put a hand on the side of his face, running your thumb across his cheek.

"I love you, more than you could ever know." You say, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you too. After this is over, when the war is won. I am taking you dancing." He mumbled out, pulling you to sit on his lap sideways. He tucked his head into the crook of your neck. You two sat there like that for a while. It took you a while before the weight of it came crashing down and you started to cry, Steve only held you tighter.

You two sat in one another's arms and mourned the loss of James Barnes.