He's nothing but everything

Chapter 23 Repercussions

We exit the bathroom insidiously. I walk over to the couch and look to my friends who are obliviously laughing and joking. My world stops for that very moment and I can feel my head spinning, I hear my friends laughter slowly getting further and further away until it's totally silent in my head. I'm trying to normalise my thoughts but it's impossible at this point. Right now all I hear is cheater, cheater, cheater. What have I done. It was just a kiss right, nothing too serious, it's not like we slept together, but I mean that's where it starts off with just a meaningless kiss then it progresses to something else. The darker side of me now takes control of my mind, what if he just used me, what if his intention was to use me all along, what if he plans on having sex with me and just leaving, we won't be seeing each other anymore because school is over, maybe this was his plan all along, string me along, lure me with friendship as the bait into his fisheries, and once I was caught he would take what he needed from me and just release me, with no explanations. That seems to be the most logical answer, why else would he flirt with me and still be with Viola. He treated me like a secret, wanted to hide our friendship from everyone including Viola because that's what I was to him, a secret. I needed clarification, and I needed it now, I needed him to explain what was going on for the passed few months between us and I needed to know why he kissed me.

As my luck would have it, it was time for everyone to leave as my father would be home from work any minute and I had to clean up afterwards. I told everyone to pack up and leave and they did so diligently. I said my goodbyes and promised to keep in contact with everyone. I didn't say a word to Liam, I just watched him leave, hoping that he would add me back to his messenger later and we would talk about what happened. I was anxious to know what he was going to say, because our friendship was definitely over now, we had both crossed the line when we kissed this afternoon and nothing will be the same every again. What was going to happen to us now...

I managed to clean up the house and go into the shower to clean my pathetic self up, I was scared and I didn't know what Liam was going to say, we haven't spoken after we kissed he hadn't messaged me yet, at the same time I felt a sort of relief, I had all these negative thoughts earlier on but now that I'm under the shower with the warm water flowing down my body making me feel warm and fuzzy inside my emotions towards the whole situation changed, when I shower I relax and when I'm relaxed I can think more rationally. Is this rational thinking though, should I really be so happy that we kissed. I just need to speak to Liam and see how he feels. I get out of the shower and I wait, and wait, an hour goes by, then 5 hours go by, before I know it it's 12pm, I'm lying in my bed waiting for a text message that might not come. It's now 3am and I'm unable to sleep, I'm tormented, I decide to take action and I send him a text.

'Hi'. Is all I text.

'Are you okay?' I text next.

'Wow, Paige, I'm sorry I totally passed out as soon as I got home, I literally just got up now to the sound of your text'. He replies instantly.

I sigh in relief, that tension that was building up in my chest due to the anxiety of waiting for him to text me back was just released. He had a good enough answer, he was quite drunk so it makes sense, he couldn't text me back, not that he didn't want to.

'I thought we could talk about what happened this afternoon, between us'. I text.

'That was the most amazing kiss that I've ever had Paige, I hope that you know that'.

My stomach starts turning, all I feel is the butterflies, he enjoyed our kiss. I'm the midst of my thoughts he sends another text.

'Paige I'm really sorry, but I have to ask that you don't send me anymore messages'.

What, what does he mean by that, why doesn't he want me to send him anymore messages.

'What do you mean Liam?'

'Well you see, what I mean is, can you not message me until I message you, I'm going to be with Viola all weekend, I don't want her catching us, her parents are going away on vacation and they already booked a space for me, I really can't back out now, I hope you understand. As soon as I get back we will talk'.

I'm not surprised right now, I knew that Viola was still his girlfriend, he always chooses her over me, I'm used to this by now. The energy that he build up when he said he enjoyed our kiss now started to drain, I could feel my spirit leaving my body, this is how he made me feel right now. Like I'm some call girl, weekend special. I didn't have the energy to argue or to say anything but.

'Enjoy Liam. Please don't ever contact me again'. With that text, I didn't even wait for him to reply I blocked him. I then sent Aaron a text.

'Aaron I'm sorry but I think we need to break up. I don't feel for you what you feel for me. I tried honestly, I tried to connect with you, but there's just something missing. For me to keep you hanging while I know this is how I feel is wrong, you need to find someone special and someone worth it, unfortunately that's not me, so goodbye and all the best for your future'. That was the text that I sent to him, he gave me his excuses, and said things will be better in the future, he wants to continue trying, but I shut him down, there's no use pushing something together that just won't fit.

There was no reason for me to hold onto Aaron and to keep him tied down to me, I was a cheater and I cheated on him. I kissed Liam back, deep down I wanted to kiss Liam, so it wasn't some kind of mistake that just happened randomly. The right thing for me to do was to break up with Aaron so that he could move on, and I did that. Why is Liam not doing the same thing with Viola, he's still leading me on. In my head now all I could think about was him and Viola spending an entire weekend away together, there are going to be times when they are alone and things are going to happen between them, Viola is a beautiful girl, Liam is bound to fall back in love with her. What do I do now.