thirteen: desperation and broken dreams

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My breath is taken from me at the sight of my childhood home

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My breath is taken from me at the sight of my childhood home. "Damn. I haven't been here in years. Still smells the same — like desperation and broken dreams."

I hear Luca snort in amusement and turn to look at him with a small smile. He avoids my gaze and continues his assessment of outside, his dimples making an appearance with his beautiful smile.

Don't see that much.

"Car is in the driveway." He notes before averting his attention to the rest of the house. "Must be here."

With the confirmation, I take a big step up onto the porch, my hands tucked into my back pockets nervously. I hesitate with removing one and lifting it to the daunting wood. I'm no longer that scared little girl who handed her son away to the villain in her eyes.

I'm strong. I'm a mother. I'm ready to take my baby back.

With that mindset, I knock on the door fervently only for it to creak open, leading to me pulling my gun from my waistband.

"Luca." I call though every independent part of me wanted to do this on my own. It wouldn't matter anyway because he's way ahead of me, his own gun drawn as he steps in front of me and leads the way.

"Stay behind me." He says softly but I shake my head. He must've felt me do it because he deadpans, "I'm serious, Remi."

Rolling my eyes, I comply and follow behind him, shifting my gaze from left to right as he walks deeper into the house. Toys are scattered all over the living room and kitchen, almost as if they were abandoned in a hurry.

It's when we get all the way to the back door that I come to see something is severely off.

Luca lowers his gun slightly, "That her garden?"

Casting my gaze to what he motions to, my heart falls. Outside on the patch of land she loved more than me are newly dead plants. I know because Janae is obsessed with her garden. It was the only thing she'd fully taken care of from my birth to my disowning.

Without a word, I pave my own path and walk away from Luca, making my way up the steps to her bedroom, ignoring his calls to me.

My heart races against my chest like it's vying for a trophy. And right at the top of the stairs, a trail of dried blood tracks straight to her room.

"No, no, no, no." I whisper to myself, feeling my heart sink to the lowest depths. I'm too late. I hear Luca come up the steps behind me but he allows me to proceed without stopping me.

Slow steps against the wooden flooring. Blood rushing in my ears. The creak of a plank as I apply too much pressure.

The blood looking like someone was dragged through it.

The bloody handprints on the door.

I toe it open, a gasp escaping me as I turn and hide my face into Luca's chest. The urge to throw up surpasses anything I've felt before.

He senses it because he leads me over to a plant and begins to rub my back as I release what little I've eaten today. "Get it out. I know. Just get it out."

A minute passes as I empty my stomach into the potted plant. Tears leave my eyes as I replay the image in my head.

Blood everywhere. A pool under her unrecognizable face. A bloodied and broken track trophy with my name on it lodged into bits and pieces of her skull.

"We're too late." I sob, feeling my entire world shatter. "Fuck!" I scream, slamming my hands into my head as I hunch over in frustration. "He killed her and he's going to kill Jori next!"

"Hey," Luca takes my face into his hands, drawing to me to look at him through blurry vision. His soothing tone allows me to catch my breath, "We're going to find him. You're going to get your son back. I promise you."

these santinos don't break their promises, right? 👀

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

these santinos don't break their promises, right? 👀

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