Cornelia Street - Jaylor one-shots

jingle bell ball

9th December 2017

-Taylors Pov-

We are going to the jingle bell ball in London today and I'm excited to preform again. In 2017 I've only done one show and that was in relation to the super bowl early in the year. Reputation dropped under a month ago and it's been a whirlwind of emotions and feedback. Some hate it but most love it, but the most important thing is that I'm proud of it. I won't lie, it's a confident booster that it jumped up the charts quickly because I was scared that after all the drama last year my time in the spotlight was over. There were several points over the last year that I thought I would never set my foot on a stage again, but here I am.

What makes this day special is that joe is coming with me, and some of his family is going to be in the crowd too.

The only downside is that there is one person there that I never wanted to be in the same room as ever again. An ex of mine that set out on a mission to destroy me. it still hurts underneath the scars he gave me; he broke me in so many ways. But I can't put all the blame on him, that was what one did when we were young, I know I broke his heart. After that night I haven't seen him, and I was hoping I never had to see that face again. The media originally got a false story about what happened, they were told it was a mutual breakup and that we remained friends, but that's not true. The false narrative didn't last long though because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and lashed out against me on Twitter, but still to this day the actual event that broke us up haven't been leaked. What went down that evening is something I haven't told a single soul, not even Joe.

*flashback**

Adam and I are on a date in an empty restaurant that he rented out for the occasion. This is just one of the gestures he does, he makes it so we can do ordinary things but takes it up and beyond. One part of me appreciates it because it means that we can have a date night without pictures of it, but at the same time I like getting lost in a crowd of other guests and feel like a normal person having a meal.

The relationship is going fine, but the spark that was there early on isn't there anymore. In the beginning there was magic and butterflies but now it's repetitive, predictable, and just plain out boring. I really want to leave him, but I don't know how to do it without breaking him. Last week I was at the met gala and had a dance off with tom, and when the pictures got out I saw how much it broke Adam and how mad he was, so I don't have the heart to break his heart for real this time. That's the thing, I don't get jealous anymore if the roles were reversed, I don't mind that we go long between seeing each other and he spends his time in clubs doing God knows what. I know I'm not invested in this anymore.

Adam wants to take the relationship to the next level, but I've put it off for a long time. He really wants us to move in together and for me to commit more to this relationship but I on the other hand is looking for a way out.

Champagne is flowing through our veins, and we are eating good and elegant stake when Adam gets out of his seat and looks nervous. "what's up Adam?" I ask concerned; he seems like he is about to explode with nerves.

"Taylor, since the first time I laid eyes on you I knew you were something special. You're smart, ridiculously talented, a strong independent woman and have a red heart that have melted my cold heart. I knew from the first kiss I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you"

no this is not happening, please God I hope he isn't doing what I think he is doing. This can't be happening; I refuse to believe this. We haven't talked about it directly; well, I haven't responded when he has mentioned our future. Doesn't he understand that I'm not ready for this if I'm not even ready to move in together. this is the thing about our relationship, he doesn't really listen to what I'm saying and what I want. It's all about him all the fucking time. If he doesn't get his way the first time he just keeps on asking until I cave because I can't take his whining anymore. I reach for my champagne and gulp down the entire glass and set it back down with shaky hands.