Cornelia Street - Jaylor one-shots

im a mess

MATURE CONTENT

-Taylors Pov-

So, my life is going up in flames this summer. If it can go wrong it goes wrong, and it's gotten to the point where I don't know if I want to laugh or cry. How did things take a turn so quickly? I went from having an awesome 4th of July party to #taylorswiftisoverparty trending which led to a very public cancelation of me. not just my career but me as a human being which stings.

Now I'm hiding in my rental in new York forbidden from leaving my house pretty much. My team and label have said that I need to keep myself out from any headline or paparazzi photos while they try to figure things out. I'm trying to help during our daily meeting to try and figure this shitshow out, but I feel like I'm more of a hinder than actually helping.

To make matters even worse is the fact that mentally I'm not handling this whole cancelation well, but who would? It's humiliating and depressing at the same time.  and the worst part is that there is no one that truly understand that I can talk to. Sure, I have my family who haven't disowned me, and I have a couple of friends that have dared to stick around, but no one truly understands. As a matter of fact I get snappy if they try to say they understand because there is no way they do.

So right now, I'm lying on the floor staring up at the roof absolutely bored out of my mind. Even my cats hate me at this point. Well Olivia tolerates me, but Meredith despises me too, it's like she knows what the world is saying about me at the moment. And it's not like I can argue with her either, she is a damn cat and can't respond to me. as a matter of fact, if she started to respond to me I would have known I have absolutely gone mad and should probably be committed somewhere.

The only thing keeping me going these days are wine, snacks and this handsome guy I have a friends with benefits relationship with. We started as friends months ago and have been playing scrabble nonstop online, but he is here in new York at the moment so when he has time off his actor duties we hang out. we play actual scrabble, watch movies and have a lot of sex. The only rule is that there is no sleeping over or feelings allowed. We are friends sure, but we aren't together. we are casual friends who have sex without all the strings that comes with a relationship. Well, I'm failing on that department, of course I've cached feelings.

I've never been the girl that could have a casual sex relationship but turns out that's what I need right now. The problem is that I really like him, but those feelings are locked behind a door inside of my brain because there is no way I'm letting them out. after all he lives in London and I live here, so we hang out and have intense, toe curling and back arching sex whenever we can. Casual sex usually means trouble and risk of the media catching on, so I haven't told a single soul, but it doesn't seem like he is interested in anything like that anyway.

The sex is really good, like I've never had so good sex in my life. He is impressive in size and well fit so his endurance is on point. As a matter of fact, I'm expecting him any minute now, and if I'm lucky I will end the day with a mind-blowing orgasm. In some ways I feel like we are using each other's bodies to fulfill some sort of need, but I'm just going with it at this point. My stupid brain however is catching feelings so the sex means more to me that it probably do to him, and that's why I kind of want to stop this because I know that I will end up with my heart broken, but just can't seem to stay away from him.

The doorbell rings and I get up from the floor and lightly jog over to the door to let him in. when I open the door he looks handsome as ever with his dark jeans, white tee and Nike shoes.

We make our way into the Livingroom and slide down on the couch "how was your day Tay?" he asks me, and I shrug. "well, I tried to play with my cats, but they don't like me just like everyone else. I had meetings which where boring and I've spent time laying on the floor and staring up at the roof so I have had a wonderful day. You?" I say with an ironic tone, and he throws his head back laughing.