The Pain that Lingers

Chapter nine: Too little yet too late

Lucy 

My heart is racing. 

Why am I so nervous? 

The feeling of air being sucked out of my lungs. 

What I'm seeing shocks me. 

My two best friends are holding hands... 

My two best friends are cuddling with each other in the booths. 

I walked over to their table ready to surprise them. 

I wish I hadn't visited them after what I saw. Clay's mouth was all over Alyssa's. As soon as Alyssa noticed me her eyes grew wide. She pushed Clay off of her and he turned around. Those ocean blue eyes staring back at me in disbelief. 

"This isn't what it looks like," Clay said as soon as he notices me. A tear was forming in my eyes. I couldn't believe what I just saw. My two best friends making out, it was like my heart was ripped out of my chest. You may think I'm being dramatic, but the story is just beginning. 

"Couldn't have fooled me..." I said. 

"Lucy... I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were going to be here tonight. Our parents just told us we could have money for a night out..." Clay said.  

Tears were forming in my eye to the point where I could not see. 

Before I moved, Clay and I were in a relationship. For some odd reason, he broke it off. I didn't know why back then, now I see the truth. I put my hands in my pocket of my jacket, and I turned around running towards the exit. 

"Wait. Please," he said. I stopped turning around to face him. "I swear I didn't mean for it to happen... It just did," 

"When and for how long," I said with venom. I was beginning to sound scary like Jayden. I guess he was rubbing off on me. 

"When we broke it off," he said nervously. His body language told me he was uncomfortable, like he had to tell me something but can't. I couldn't be mad at him for being honest. But I am mad because they didn't tell me! They had all this time to I don't know facetime, text, or even email me. They did none of those things, I have a right to be upset. 

"Did our relationship mean nothing to you?" I asked throwing my hands up. My breath felt like it was on fire, my blood felt like it was hot. My heart felt like it was bleeding from the inside out. 

"Yes, it did. And that is why I had to break it off. The real reason is what Alyssa had helped me with while you were gone. I'll tell you the real story when you're ready..." Clay said. He tried to pull me in for a hug, but I did not want it. 

"What story?" I questioned backing away from him.  

"I'll tell you when you're ready," he repeated. He looked down towards his shoes. "Please understand. It hurt that I lost you once, and twice. I'm afraid of your reaction..." 

"You two had all damn summer to get in touch with me to tell me this, but instead you went behind my back. What kind of friends do that? Especially to a friend whose dad was almost murdered. Oh my god, was that night just so you could spend time with Alyssa!?" I asked mortified. It felt like my anger was boiling through my veins. Clay froze in place, not knowing what to do or what to say. I knew that that was my answer to my question I just asked. 

I heard footsteps. Alyssa's slim figure approached me. "I'm so sorry Lucy. I truly am sorry. He comforted me, and I comforted him!" She said putting her hand on my back. If they truly liked each other, I won't stand in the way of that, but I can't look at them right now. I want to go home. 

"I would have told you, but your dad told me that you needed time alone..." She said. 

"He said that. That's a lie! I needed my best friends. He would have done that." I said feeling hurt. My body was shaking, and my voice was trembling. 

"Will you forgive us? I promise we will not be all lovey Dovey around you. You're my best friend and you came here to see us. I promise you a night of fun." Alyssa said. I looked up into her eyes and could tell she was being sincere. I fell for it eventually. 

"Fine." I spoke. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to forgive you two just yet, but I promise I will try." 

"And that's all we ask for." Alyssa said. 

My soul felt like it was being shattered. 

My heart can't take any more pain. 

You know that feeling when all the pain starts flowing through your veins and you try to release it by doing harmful things to yourself? 

I want to, I fought it off for a long time after my encounter with my boyfriend before Clay freshman year. 

I was too little, yet too late. I had lost everything, my best friends, my happiness, my drive, and motivation. 

_____________________________________

October 25th 2018- Freshman year 

Freshman year is nerve wracking. 

All the freshman's want to be in a relationship with the upperclassmen. 

I'm dating the Freshman quarterback Tyler Sanders. He was all about sports and making every girl drool over him. He noticed me one day near the bleachers studying alone. 

He walked up to me and introduced himself. There we kicked it off, Alyssa was stoked for me as I found someone that easily. She thought it was good for me and thought it would boost our social status. Everyone knew each other because we all lived in the same area and when one neighbor knows someone, everyone knows that person. 

The Upper East Side is full of tourist which annoys me sometimes. I don't mind it, but around the Holiday's it drives me nuts. Everything feels chaotic to me. 

"Hey babe, tonight we are going to a party," Tyler said planting a kiss on me. We were getting our books from our lockers. We shared one because there's not enough room for all students to have one locker for themselves. We were making out for a good few minutes before Hunter Ryland interrupted our moment. 

"Get a room!" He shouted. Everyone looked at us, great. 

"Shut up, asshole!" Tyler said hitting him on the arm. 

"Relax lovebirds. Save it for the party," Hunter said. Hunter is so annoying and selfish; he does not care about anyone's feelings. I don't know why Tyler hangs around with him. I heard he does drugs and deals for a drug dealer that would kill just about anyone that stands in their way. I heard it from Tyler, but he could be making it up. The party was all anyone could talk about. Everyone was going to be there, including the popular juniors and seniors. 

That night, Alyssa invited me to stay at her place. 

I don't know what to expect at this party. 

Hello guys, chapter eight is written. Onto chapter nine so I can publish all of them.