The Pain that Lingers

Chapter sixteen: Don't Lose Your Mind

Warning (Abuse will be in this chapter, so if you are sensitive, don't read)

Lucy

Everything going on right now is sucking the life out of me

My soul feels drained due to the power my bullies have over me.

It's like Jayden is addicted to the power he has over people... For Jayden, it's like a drug because he became consumed in the pleasure of torturing others. Not sure what made him so unhappy with his own life but it has to stop! My voices in my head are telling me to do something about it.

Then the other half of my brain is telling me to not interfere with Jayden and his posse. If I do, I keep thinking they will find ways to hurt me and my family. I can't let that happen because we've been hurt so many times by people.

I'm fighting my own demons I can't face and it's like I'm stuck in a maze with my mind over and over. Jayden was right on that part. In order to fight my demons I have to face him, and I don't know if I can do that right now. I have to face the part of me that was traumatized. If I go back to those horrific memories, I might fall off hard like last time.

It was around lunch time and Karina had told me to meet her at study hall because she didn't want to face Marcus, Jayden and the others. I understand, she must've been through a lot in the last month.

"Hey Kar." I said when I walked into the abandoned part of the library.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked sitting down next to her. We sat between the book shelves eating our lunch on the floor. I brought a salad from home because I wasn't that hungry today for some reason.

"This happened around a month ago, so my memory might be in a fog." Karina said, she continued on with her story. "Marcus had another party after the first one, I wanted to go alone because I couldn't let my guard down. Me and Marcus go way back, before high school. I've known him my entire life. I saw him dealing drugs one day, but we weren't friends at the time. I asked him if I could buy some off of him..."

"And I did. It was stupid of me. In the past I used to be addicted to drugs and Marcus knew that. I thought he stopped dealing drugs, but he didn't. I got really high, I practically overdosed and passed out at the party. Marcus sold me something very highly rare and illegal. Nobody can get their hands on it! I was rushed to the hospital and couldn't wake up for a few weeks."

"Then when I finally did, my memory was crap. I couldn't remember what happened, slowly but surely I gained my memory back after a week. I couldn't face going to school, so I did online school until now. My mom told me she wanted me to come back to face my fears, if I don't I'll be hiding in a shell for the rest of my life."

As I tried to register what she said I grabbed her hand.

"Karina, you are strong. Don't let Marcus dictate your life, we both can do better. We'll stick by each other from now on!" I said.

"Thanks Lucy, you're a really good friend." She said hugging me from the side.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I waited for Marcus when school got out.

I am going to beat his ass. I mean it literally.

He was the last one out and I waited by his car. He didn't see me wait by his car, so I slapped him hard in the face. It was a really loud slap.

He groaned, "What the fuck?" He looked up and noticed I was standing in front of him.

"If you ever go near Karina again, you're dead." I said.

"Is that a threat?" He asked, and then chuckled.

"What is wrong with you, moron?" I said.

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen, she was just there. I gave her some, we partied and had fun. Things got a little out of hand." Marcus said. He sounded so stupid right now. I punched him in the stomach and he let out a gasp. Looks like what my dad has been teaching me in self-defense has worked.

"Consider this a warning." I said and walked over to my car.

"You'll pay for this, bitch!" Marcus yelled from the other side of the parking lot. He's lucky I didn't tase him or pepper spray him. I rolled my eyes and drove off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day at school I saw Marcus with Jayden.

"Damn, who hit you this time Carter?" Jayden asked laughing at him.

"No one important." Marcus replied staring at me. I could feel his gaze on me and it made me feel uncomfortable.

Jerk, I thought. If he told the school a girl literally kicked his ass, his reputation would be on the line. My fists were bruised from hitting him, I hope no one sees that I punched him. I walked into the bathroom to fix myself up for History.

I felt someone tug at my arm. Jayden- what the? He can't be in here and why does he keep coming into the bathroom like this? Is he trying to get his ass kicked too?

"I saw your car out here when Marcus left, I know it was you. I got to say, you really did a number on him." Jayden said.

I scoffed, "Go away, Jayden. I'm not in the mood today. Don't think I forgot about you leaving me in the damn woods." I said and pushed him out of my way. He didn't take that lightly and smacked me in my face. The loud slap made my hands immediately jolt to my right cheek. It hurt like a bitch. I winced, after he realized what he had done his eyes grew wide. There was something in there, a raw emotion that I've never seen from Jayden. I knew he regretted it; yet, I wanted him to see the pain he caused, I wanted him to feel the emotions I'm feeling right now.

He reminded me so much of Tyler. Tyler was wicked and evil. I didn't want Jayden to see my past so I had to act shocked.

"I-" Jayden was about to say something, but I cut him off.

"GET OUT!" I screamed.

"I didn't mean to." He said freaking out.

I breathed heavily, "YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO? Jayden, I never would've expected this from you. You can't be saved by anyone because YOU'RE sick in the head! You don't want to hear what other's have to say about you because you know its true-"

"Enough!" Jayden demanded.

"Why, am I hitting the spot yet?" I nearly screamed. "Fuck you Jayden, fuck you, get out of my life!" I said hitting him. He grabbed my wrists and randomly hugged me. What is he doing? If this is his way of saying sorry, it's not working. I don't play that sick game he has going on in his head right now.