Dooriyan diaries

And its over

So it was supposed to be a pill based procedure.  It was meant to be a single pill. And that would  be the end of this weird phase of their lives. But maybe that's not how it had to be. The pill was unsuccessful and she had to go for the surgical procedure. She was so terrified, so was Shaurya. To see a loved one going through a procedure was hard. Shaurya hoped badly that this would  be it. He just wanted it to stop. Anokhi was stressed too. She thought it would  be all over with a pill but it didn't. 

Anokhi- Shaurya!

Shaurya- Baby I am right here. I am with you. It's going to get fine. I promise. It won't hurt much. See, there is the anesthesia.

Anokhi- Hmmm.

Throughout the procedure, Shaurya was standing with her, with his hand in hers. It was very hard and frightening for him. But still he sticked with her. She was under general anesthesia and couldn't really sense him but he felt that she could. She needed him. After the procedure, Anokhi was unconscious. Shaurya was looking at her and couldn't wait for her to open her eyes. She opened her eyes much latter. She would say nothing.  She was emotionally numb from the anesthestic. The doctor checked her and said she could leave. She was asked to rest.

Shaurya- Anokhi chale?

Anokhi- Hmmm.

He gently helped her till the cab. They sat together arm in arm. Both were teary eyed. There was pain but there was a quiet support between them. Shaurya helped her till the bed of her room and she lay in bed.

Shaurya- I am putting on some TV.

Anokhi didn't reply but Shaurya felt that she needed to come out of her pain. The TV would  distract her. He switched  on cartoons. He felt that would be light. Anokhi wouldn't react to anything. He was dying to hear her talk, cry, react something.  He knew she was emotionally very fragile and it would not be correct to pressurize her to react. So the TV went on. It was cartoon after all and Shaurya did find some things funny but he didn't want to laugh.

Anokhi- Has sakte ho. I promise tax nhi bharna padega.

Shaurya- Anokhi I.

Anokhi- We both will heal differently. Haan mere mann mein cartoon ghus nhi rha. Kyunki I can't think anything. I am blank. Abhi thodi neend bhi aa rhi hai. But you are not sleepy. You are healing.  I don't resent you healing. I love you.  Tumhari muskurahat mujhe offend nbi karti. Woh toh meri strength hai. It shows ki there is a light at the end of this tunnel. So you can smile, you can laugh. Mujhe hurt nhi hoga.

Shaurya- You leave me speechless.

Anokhi- Hmmm. Let's not talk. You watch Tom and Jerry and I am going  to sleep in your arms.

Shaurya- Ok.

Anokhi sleeps while Shaurya watches the cartoon. But then one scene is very funny. He laughs out loud. That wakes up Anokhi. Shaurya doesn't notice.

Shaurya- If we had a baby, isko kitna enjoy karta mein uske sath, papa and pari would have watched this together.

Anokhi- Papa ki Paris ek din aayegi zaroor. Bas aaj nhi.

Shaurya- Haan Tom and Jerry toh telecast ho hi rha hai last 80 years se toh aisha toh nhi iska telecast band ho jayega. But I am sorry.

Anokhi- Shaurya sorry kyu bol rhe ho? Zaroori nhi ki hum dono iss situation ko ek nazariye se dekhe. It's ok. It's fine. I know you miss her naa.

Shaurya- Hmmm.

Anokhi- Tumhari feelings mere feelings jitni hi important hai. It's ok. Tumhe jo kehna hai keh sakte ho.

Shaurya- Thanks. Iss haal mein I need to be the one supporting you. But look at you, you are supporting me.

Anokhi- Because I love you. And we love as equals. Love is not gendered.
Yes we agree that the biology is different. The roles are a consequence of that. But none of that invalidates your feelings.  You put them behind for what I wanted. Itna koi kisi ke liye nhi karta. You are hurting because of my decision and yet you support me. We love each other, so, so much Shaurya.

Shaurya- We do. And we both are willing to make those adjustments for the other.

Anokhi- Hmmm. So now get back to your Tom and Jerry.

Shaurya- Haan aur koshish karunga ki zor se naa hasoon.

Anokhi- Thanks.

It's lunch time. Shaurya was hesitant to say something.

Anokhi- Kya bolna chahte ho bolo.

Shaurya- Woh naa Spiderman dekha. Pata hai hohot maza aaya.
He starts to narrate the entire movie, all with hand gestures and performance. Anokhi comes and kisses him on the cheeks. He is stunned.

Anokhi- You looked so cute. Ab aage bolo. Sun rhi hoon.

Shaurya knows she was enjoying it. She was starting to smile a little bit. He starts to exaggerate and go over the top to make her laugh even more. Anokhi gets a bit teary eyed.

Shaurya- Kya hua? Kuch galat bola maine?

Anokhi- Bilkul nhi. Thanks. For making me smile. Thanks for all this love and laughter. Being with you makes me regret nothing. If this is something our relationship had to go through, that's ok.  Whatever life throws at me, I know it throws at you too. You go through every single thing I go through.  To find such a partner, to be with such a partner doesn't make me question that we had to go through an abortion as a couple. Yes it's sad. Yes it's painful. But it's ok. We will find a way through this pain also. As long as tum sath ho sab theekh hai.

Shaurya-Hmm. As long as tum sath ho sab theekh hai. Shayd tumhare paas itni energy nhi ki tum mere liye cheeze karo yaa mujhse baatein karo. But I see your quiet support.  I see that you allow me to express what I want to. You are allowing me to deal with this how I want to. You are letting me be. Thanks Anokhi. And now no talk. Tumhe neend aa rhi hai. I am going to put you to sleep.

How was this update? I know it was a very serious update.  But after this track there is going to be another fun and unexpected track. Fo comment on what you felt about  this track and this update.