Hyacinth || dreamwastaken

9

When I wake the next morning it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel a lot less pressure to be... perfect. To make things perfect. Life isn't perfect and all this distance has made me realize this.

Not everything can be fixed. And not every broken thing wants to be fixed. Sometimes broken things are better off left just that... broken.

***

I'm met by a familiar face in the morning. A face just yesterday I contemplated for a short few seconds taking a nice swing at with a fist. But today I don't feel that way. The words of my book, the words of Nick, have swayed my heart just a little.

"Good morning bitch." Clay stands with his hands tucked into his pockets. Of course, he's another one who got an outfit much better than mine. Dudes got pockets! Must be nice.

"Oh how I haven't missed hearing you call me that for the past few days." I lean against the outside of my pod. I study the man waiting for my departure wondering what in the world he needs from me.

"Trust me your presence hasn't been missed either." He rolls his eyes in typical annoyance as he starts walking. He expects me to follow but every bit of me wants to defy him. So I do just that.

I watch him walk down the path leading away from my pod for a few steps. I laugh when he turns and realizes I'm not fast on his heels. I'm not your pet.

"Come on." He yells out in a demand. It's more of a playful demand but I know that he means business. Whatever business it may be, I haven't a clue.

I finally follow after teasing for a few moments. I have to have fun. I haven't been able to have much of it being on my own. It's lonely. I understand what being lonely really feels like now since being able to finally communicate with real people. Let me tell you, it sucks ass. It is misery. I hate being alone. I know now more than ever that I yearn for connection.

"Mind telling me where you're leading me off to?" I question him, walking with my hands behind my back. I feel like this is how children used to act toward parents back when children actually had parents.

"Now telling you wouldn't make this very fun now would it?" He looks at me with a smirk pulled at the corners of his lips.

"For all I know you're taking me to Bluebell to kill me. I'm sorry Sir I would like to live another day." I raise my brows as I continue to follow him.

"Don't even joke about that." Clay snarls at me. He keeps his voice hush but I can tell by the look in his eyes that he's strangling me in his mind.

I hold my hands up as we continue on in silence. Not a word more is said until we reach Bluebell. I knew it's where we were headed the moment he wanted to talk. It's the only place he feels comfortable speaking. It's the only place where any of us feel comfortable speaking.

Clay stands back on the path as I walk towards the fence. I need to touch. Every time I come here it's like a magnet draws me in. It's an invisible force pulling me until I'm hooked to the fence. Until my fingers clasp around the metal separating me from the beautiful outside world.

"Hyacinth." Clay bellows out across the distance between him and I. But I don't look back at the threatening tone he has towards me. I don't even care that he's used my name again. Something about this land screams my name louder. I was named because of this land. It is important to me, to my story.

Despite Clay's warning I drop down and reach through the chain link fence. My eyes drift between the cameras as I run my fingertips over the blue flower that once matched the dying one inside my stark room. The one that matched the one I gave Ranboo. The one that matched the one I gave Tommy.