Hyacinth || dreamwastaken

30

11:37.

Eleven hours and thirty-seven minutes until all worry is gone. Until I know Clay and I will never love another. Until I know we are set in stone and the idea of us ever leaving each other for someone else is gone. It cannot come quick enough.

We've settled in for sleep. The day has been hot. Our body's are drenched in sweat. My skin is sticky to the touch and Clay's glistens in the moonlight. Every bit of me wants to get away from the group and be alone with him. I want to be alone again.

"Hey," I whisper softly into his ear as our group shovels food into their mouths for the night. "Can we go to the river?" My eyes go doey as I pull away from his ear to look at the way his facial expression changes.

Except... it doesn't change. He is ice cold. Stone cold. No reaction. "No." He says absentmindedly. Oh.

I want to respond but I'm too defeated to do so. My appetite is ruined. My mood is ruined. I need to get away. So I do just that. I brush my hands off as I stand to my feet and I walk. I don't care about the pain my feet feel from all the running. I don't care about the blisters forming from my wet shoes rubbing against my ankles. I care about being alone. I need to be alone.

I expect someone to follow. But no one does. A part of me even wonders if they notice my departure. If they care about my departure. It seems very much like they haven't noticed, and they don't care. But I'm used to that. I had twenty-some-odd-years of it.

I can't find the river. I can't hear the sound of running water. So I find a stump and I sit. I run my fingers through my unkempt hair and I sigh. I sigh at the fact my timer is so low but I've never felt more alone. Never felt further away from finding my person. When I know who my person is!

"Hya..." The voice that calls my name is low. It's quiet and a part of me questions if I've only heard it inside my head. I peak over my shoulder and the green glow gives it all away. He's here. He has really spoken my name. "You've gone the wrong way."

"I've noticed." I say harshly but not angrily. More defeated than anything.

"I know you want space. I just needed to say I'm sorry for how I've acted today. It's not being fair to you. I'm in my head about everything. Everyone's emotions have begun to flood my mind again and I can't think straight. It's no excuse to treat you how I have though. I just need to figure out how to deal with this again. I need time." Clay walks slowly over to me and my body burns as bright as his.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask softly, endearingly.

"You think I look incredible right now." His voice is cocky but in a loving way. "You think you're pretty lucky to have me to yourself in a short few hours." Clay trails his finger along my shoulders as he walks around me, studying the way I react to his words, to his touch.

Parts of me that have never begged for him, do. I try to stutter his name out but nothing leaves past my lips. Words are trapped in my mind and now I know he's in there. He doesn't need me to speak because he knows what I'm thinking.

"Hya, stop thinking about what you want to do to me and just do it." He demands me. His face is inches from mine as he does it. His hot breath hits against my hot skin and I am on fire with lust for him.

I try to say I can't but it's all fucking trapped inside. Again I feel like I'm starting to suffocate.

"Do it!" He grits out from between his teeth as his hand wraps around my throat. I swallow hard as he tightens his grip just slightly.

"Clay..." I gasp out and his hand drops. I reach forward and pull him closer, crashing my lips into his. We are messy. I feel like I've got his saliva all over my face by the time my lips part from his but I don't even care. I'm hungry for him because the fucking tension is so god damn high, I just cannot take it!

"Please..." I beg as I grab his hand and place it against my breast. I direct him to squeeze and he does. He needs to explore every inch of my body. It's begging for him and it won't stop until the mission is complete. He needs to finish. I need to finish.

"Please what?" He says breathily between kisses against my skin. Every part of my skin besides my lips and god does it feel good.

I roll my eyes because I know he knows. Just fucking do it Clay. You have my goddamn permission to rip my clothes off and do it!

"Say it baby." My mouth drops at the name that leaves his mouth. If that isn't the hottest goddamn thing I have ever heard. Holy hell he knows exactly what he's doing to me. He's in my fucking head. Get out! Or don't.

"Fuck me." I groan as he nips at the skin of my breast.

"It would be my fucking pleasure." Clay says as he slides my shirt up over my head. "I've only been thinking about it for weeks." His eyes dart to my bare chest and his once clouded mind is now focused. It's focused on only one thing, pleasuring the fuck out of both of us.

Just as he's about to pull his shirt up over his head, leaves around us begin to crunch and Clay quickly pulls away from me. He rises to his feet almost instantly as I cover my chest with my arms. Clay steps in front of me, shielding me from whatever is out there.

"Who's there?" Clay demands, but the noises stop and the world goes quiet again. The sexual tension burning between Clay and I has fizzed out. Our desires are gone.

"Clay..." I trail off as I slide my shirt over my head and wrap my hand up in his. "You missed one thing earlier." I say softly, trying to pull the worry from him.

"Hmm?" He questions as his alert nature softens as his eyes drift toward me.

"You missed one thing I wanted to tell you earlier." I rub my thumb against his skin as a way to distract him from delving into my thoughts.

"Did I now?" He turns his body toward me. Almost as if my words completely wipe away what's ever stopped our sexual encounter from happening.

"But you can't find out for..." I glance down at our wrists and I read the red number inked deep into my skin, "ten hours and nineteen minutes."

"You tease." Clay bumps his body into mine before catching my chin with his finger, guiding my face toward his.

"Sorry." I whisper as I glance toward his lips. His tongue juts out and swipes across his lips, wetting the plump surface.

"You're not." He replies back subtly before placing a featherlight kiss against my lips. Retreating ever so slowly as if his pace would savor the moment longer.

"I am a little." I motion with my fingers just how little I mean. It causes Clay to chuckle. I smile at the expression in his face and how I am lucky to have moments like this with him now. We need happy moments to survive. It's what kept us alive when we were starving to death.

***

When we return back to camp, everyone is knocked out. No one stirs at the sound of us crunching through the woods. It surprises me. Because I remember night one and how little sleep I got because of every single noise that pang through my ears.

"I'll let you use me as your comfort pillow tonight." Clay speaks softly so the others around don't wake.

I'm shocked at his offer. In all the weeks we've spent out here, not one time have I ever been able to cuddle him. He's always cuddled me and shielded me from the world. He is the king of a world we are no longer a part of, and still requires the attention and praise that label up holds. He is number one.

"You're only doing this so they think you're a good person." I shove his side lightly and he groans as the stab in his side. I roll my eyes at his blatant over exaggeration.

"I am a good person." Clay crosses his arms as I lay our blanket over the forest floor.

"Yeah... yeah." I shake my head before we both curl up and turn in for a short night of slumber.