Hyacinth || dreamwastaken

17

The longer I sit and wait for George and Nick to arrive the more my skin begins to crawl. I become anxious to the point it genuinely feels like my skin is moving. I can't take another second of it. I'm sorry but I can't hear another sad memory of times shared with the two of them. I need to get away. I've had my goodbye. I don't need another.

"Clay," I whisper, "I need to leave. I can't sit here any longer. I'm sorry." I stand up and place my hand on his shoulder. "Good luck." I glance at the group that has now grown even more in number since Tommy, Ranboo, and Will joined. Now even more people sit and talk. I just cannot be bothered for another moment.

I take a deep breath and walk toward Bluebell. I close my eyes while I take a few steps. I try to center my mind as much as possible before entering a land I'm about to taint with a sadness so great I might just ruin Bluebell forever.

Within a few hours I'm stood at the fence separating me from such a beautiful land. Every part of me wants to jump over and run. But my consciousness tells me not to ruin life for my soulmate. I need to give them a chance for a better life.

I sit down with my knees pressed firmly against the fence as I reach through the metal with my fingertips. I run the pads of my fingers along the blue flowers I was named after. I begin to wonder and dream about a life in these uncharted lands. I think about the ideals that Callahan and Clay put into my mind about escaping and now it feels more doable than ever. If we leave now I won't lose my day one. I get to keep Nick forever. It all seems so wonderful.

I get lost in the thought of escaping. So lost, the night turns dark and the alarms sounding have come and gone. I don't want to return to my pod. I want to stay in my place of serenity. The only place that has ever, and will ever, bring me peace.

When the cameras turn away from me I lay down, curl up in a ball, and close my eyes. This will be my place to sleep for the night. I just hope Q doesn't hate me for breaking a rule so detrimental that he might lose his position for.

Rule 3. Always return to your pod at the end of the night. If you do not, you will be punished. Your mentor will be taken away from you and evaluated. After evaluation both you and your mentor are subject to disposal.

No one has even been told what exactly disposal is. Everyone is too scared to ask and find out. The word is too scary to even question. Is it removal? Death? Neither? We don't know. The only people with enough knowledge work for the government. And none of us work for them.

***

The sun shining bright in my eyes wakes me in the morning. It's not the sound of an alarm. Or the sound of another human, just the sun. It's barely risen up above the horizon. This is the first time I've been able to see the sun rise. In my twenty-some-odd years of life I've never watched the sun peak out over the land and paint the sky a beautiful array of color. At least not until now. And right now it's taking my breath away.

I've never seen colors so pretty. No photo I've ever seen even begins to give this sky justice. I am in utter shock and awe at the beauty before me. I could get used to this. Can I skip nightly lock ups for this every night? If I can, some government power give me a sign.

"What the fuck Hya?" A stern and angry voice booms behind me. Well, I got my answer.

"Clay, I don't want to hear it." I hold my hands up. "Please just leave me alone. The morning alarms haven't even sounded, you should be locked up in your pod just as much as I should be in mine." I look over my shoulder glancing past him, too stubborn to give him the satisfaction of more.

"You could have really screwed over Q. Not that you care clearly." Clay shakes his head and I look away. It's my way of telling him I'm done with this conversation. But unfortunately for me, he isn't.