Hyacinth || dreamwastaken

34

I don't even know the plan anymore. I just know that today is the day. The boys, the things, my friends refuse to tell me what's going on. They think I'm too fragile. The only thing I know I'm doing is blinding cameras. The only thing I'm good for are my powers. I am needed for nothing more. That hurts. None of this plan would have happened without me. I should be clued in on it all.

"Nick!" I run over and jump into his arms when he finally appears out of nowhere. "Oh thank god."

"You really should have slept, you know. You look like death." Nick chuckles as he glances over my shoulder at George.

"Oh, sorry." I step back and give the two soulmates a chance to greet each other.

"She's been staring at Bluebell for hours just waiting for you." George says as he wraps his arms around Nick. "She doesn't like to listen to us. Worries too much. Are you sure she's going to be able to do this?"

"Don't question my abilities George." I growl and narrow my eyes at the small fragile man before me. "Worrying is important. I think about the shit you idiots wouldn't even fathom about for a second."

George shoots a glare back in my direction but stays quiet. I've won the war, but only barely. We take small wins lately. Sometimes it's all we can get. Especially when it's me. I don't win. It's not in my cards.

***

I stand in the middle of the once filled flowery field and stare. I stare emotionless between the cameras set before me. Light beams off me and before I know it, the crew I've spent weeks with is hurling themselves over the chain link fence that once separated me from such a beautiful land.

When my eyes focus back toward the ground, Clay's fingers are tucked in between links and he's staring right at me. I nod for him to continue on but he's stuck. He's stuck just like I once was. He can't leave his soulmate. His heart won't let him.

"Hya." He calls out and I run to his voice without even thinking. My feet move before my mind catches up. It's almost like I blink and I'm before him, my fingertips grazing against his. "I'm sorry."

"You have a world to save. I'll be okay on my own." I take a deep breath and force all of my body into making a smile for the man that I've grown so deeply in love with.

"If I don't make it..." Clay trails off and I squeeze his fingertips in my hands. A comfort if you may for him to continue. "If I don't make it, you know where to go. You'll survive there on your own. It's where we will all head eventually whoever makes it out alive."

My heart sinks as Clay's hand slips from mine. He's gone before I know it. Their crew fades off into Halcyon and I am alone again. This world we live in is so lonely. Even if I'm surrounded by many I still feel alone. This isn't how life should ever be. But it is what it is.

***

I spend a week sat at the fence separating Halcyon from Bluebell. I spend a week curled up against a fence I spent months at from the other side. I haven't heard a sound. I haven't seen a soul. I haven't eaten a thing. I've deprived myself of good because I don't deserve a life of good if he hasn't gotten good.

I glance down where my number once laid inked deep into my skin and I smile at the red dashes. Red is always good. Red means love is there. Black, blackness is the absence of love, the sign of death. Clay is still there, living, surviving.

The three red dashes inked so deeply in my skin are the only thing that give me the will to stay afloat. If you can even count my life as floating. I must be drowning. Barely surviving. But I'm alive nonetheless.