Eternity | T.J.

It Was Going Pretty Well, Until It Wasn't

     Do you ever see someone and think 'Oh hey, you look vaguely familiar, I think I might know you.' That was my thought process when seeing Sam as she made her way through the crowd towards us with a black eye and a swollen lip.

     " What happened?" Magnus asked." Are you okay?"

     " Do you need an ice pack?"

     " Little scuffle, no worries. Let's watch the judging."

     " Well then!" Nabbi said, facing the audience." Thank you all for attending this contest, sponsored by Nabbi's Tavern, famous among taverns, built by Nabbi and home to Nabbi's stout, the only mead you'll ever need. Now our contestants will tell us about their first items. Blitzen, son of Freya!"

    " It's a duck."

    " And.. what does it do?"

     " When I press its back," Blitzen demonstrated, as the duck grew quite a bit." It turns into a larger duck."

     " That's it?" The second judge, who I didn't know, asked.

     " Well... yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck, or a larger metal duck."

      " Garden knick-knack, perhaps?" The third judge suggested." Conversation piece? Decoy?"

      " Yes," Nabbi coughed." Thank you, Blitzen. And now, Eitri Junior, son of Edna, what is your first creation."

     The old dwarf helled out the flat piece of metal." This is a self-guiding troll-seaking missile! If it were undamaged it could destroy any troll at a distance of half a mile. And it's reusable!"

     It appeared this was much more impressive to the crowd than Blitz's duck was.

     " Umm... but does it work?"

     " No! It was ruined on the final hammer stroke, but if it did-"

     " But it doesn't," the third judge pointed out." So what is it at the moment?"

     " It's a useless metal cylinder!" Junior replied." Which isn't my fault!"

     The judges all wrote something down.

     " So in the first round," Nabbi announced." We have an expandable duck versus a useless metal cylinder. Our contestants are running very close indeed. Blitzen, what is your second item?"

     Blitz proudly showed his second creation." The bulletproof tie!"

     " What?"

     " Oh, come on! How many of you have been in the embarrassing situation of wearing a bulletproof vest without a matching bulletproof tie?"

     A single dwarf raised their hand.

     " Exactly! Not only is this accessory fashionable, but it will stop anything up to 30-06 round. It can also be worn as a carvat."

     All three judges took more notes.

     " Junior, what is your second work of craftsmanship?"

     " The Goblet of Infinity!" He gestured to what looked like a piece of badly done modern art." It holds a limitless amount of liquid, great for road trips through waterless wastelands."

     " Uh... It looks a bit crushed."

     " Stupid horsefly again!" Junior claimed." It bit me right between the eyes! Not my fault if an insect turned my brilliant invention into a slag heap."