The Day I Nearly Punched A God

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     Just as you're supposed to do, Alex insulted our host as soon as we were in the elevator and out of earshot.

     " Sif sucks."

     " Maybe this isn't the time to say that," Magnus pointed out." When we're in her elevator."

     " If the legends are true, this mansion has over six hundred floors," Blitzen stated." I'd rather not fall all the way to the basement."

     " Whatever," Alex said." Also, what kind of name is Bright Crack?"

     " It's a kenning! You know, like Blood River for the Skofnung Sword guy. Bright Crack is just a poetic way of saying lightning, since Thor's the god of thunder and all."

     " Hmph. There is nothing poetic about Bright Crack," Alex decided.

     Magnus looked towards Sam." You don't like Sif either."

     " Why would I?" The valkyrie replied." She's a vain goddess. I don't often agree with my father's pranks, but cutting off Sif's original golden hair? That I understood. He was making a point. She cares about her appearance above everything else. The whole thing about her being a trophy wife? I'm pretty sure my dad planned that too. It's his idea of a joke, Sif and Thor are just too dense to pick up on it."

     Hearth had apparently seen what Sam had just said, and he put away Sif's runes, which he'd been looking at for the first part of the conversation. Sif is wise and good. Goddess of growing things. You're unfair.

     " Hey, elf?" Alex asked." I'm guessing your meaning, but if you're defending Sif, I gotta say I'm with Samirah on this one."

     " Thank you."

     Hearth crossed his arms.

     I cleared my throat." I understand that tensions are high, however, if you want to insult Sif- which I personally don't see why you would- now really isn't the best time considering who we're about to talk to."

     " I agree with Willow," Blitzen spoke up." I think you two are nuts to be bad-mouthing Thor's wife, in Thor's own house, when we're about to see-"

     There was a 'ding' and the elevator doors opened, stopping Blitz from finishing his sentence.

     The doors opened up to show what I had always pictured as a 'typical man cave' meaning basically there were a lot of TVs, sofa's, and games. After a minute of us looking around, Thor appeared from behind an arcade game, followed by his two goats, knocking two ping-pong paddles together, and muttering about his hammer.

     Then he spotted us.

     " Aha!" the god said, racing over." What news?"

     " Hey, Thor," Magnus greeted with a squeaky voice." Uh... Willow has something to tell you."

     I glared at him as a way of saying 'thanks a lot' before looking at the god of Thunder." Err, yes. We have some information on the location of your hammer-"

     " Excellent!" Thor exclaimed.

     " It was taken by a descendent of Thrym- also confusingly enough named Thrym- and he arranged an alliance with Loki by marrying Sam here. We were tricked into believing that going through with the wedding was the way to get your hammer back- although we were still very against marrying Sam off- but it turns out even if she does go through with marrying him, the hammer is the 'morgen gifu' so we won't technically get it back... also it's buried about eight miles under the earth."

Eternity | T.J.Where stories live. Discover now