𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

25. 𝐼𝑓 𝑂𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑀𝑒

August 18, 2021

Two Years Ago

Syn

"You left your phone in the car," I said to her, holding it in front of me and hoping she would somehow confess.

She took it from my hand with a frown on her face and sighed as she turned it on. "We're going to talk about your attitude in a second, Syn."

I leaned against the table and watched her look at her phone when a strange look appeared on her face. My chest caved in at what she could've been looking at- what I knew she was looking at, but when she found my eyes on her, she cleared her throat and put it away.

"You good?" I asked.

"I'm good. Are you?"

"I'm perfect."

"Great," she said slowly as she looked around awkwardly. "I need to go shower, I have a meeting to go to." She walked towards the restroom and I followed behind her.

"This late?" I questioned.

"It's barely six, Syn," she laughed.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I just said a meeting, Syn."

"With who?"

"People," she said as she walked into the restroom. "Why are you asking so many questions?"

"Why are you being so secretive?"

"I'm not." She began removing her clothes and I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.

I didn't know what I expected her to do, but I didn't think she'd lie to me. I thought I'd have a cool head through this entire thing, but she was breaking me. Every one of her lies, her hesitation to answer my questions...it all pointed to the one undeniable fact.

She's cheating on me.

I promised myself that I'd leave her if she went through with this, but why did it seem so hard? I looked at her as she undressed and wondered at one point I lost her.

Did she meet the man after I died? Has she been with him all this time? Was it during the month I left? Is that the real reason why she suddenly didn't want to marry me when I got back?

She had said yes to my proposal before I left for Heaven, but when I got back her mind was suddenly changed. Was it because of him?

I didn't have any of the answers I was asking myself but I wasn't sure if I even wanted them. This could possibly be one of the last times I saw her if this was true. In the past, I would've fought tooth and nail to make sure she didn't leave, but I knew better now. I wasn't going to fight for someone that would betray me this way.

I watched as she got into the shower and I rubbed my chin in thought. If she was going to be with another man, I'd make sure she was thinking about me the entire time whether it was good or bad. I wanted to cause her as much pain as she was causing me right now.

My head spun as the buzz from the alcohol I had drunk before she came home resurfaced. Thoughts of what she could've been doing with this other guy floated through my mind until it was the only thing I was thinking about. I drank more than I should've in the past hour, but it was the only thing keeping me from soaking in the fact that my relationship was irrecoverably broken.