May 10, 2023
Queen
I headed down the white halls of the hospital in the direction the nurse told me. My stomach was doing flips as I headed toward the room but it wasn't from excitement or nervousness. It was just guilt. I knew he'd ask about where I'd been these past couple of days and I had no idea how to tell him the truth.
I didn't want to hurt him. That was never my intention.
I hoped he wouldn't think that I led him on, but I couldn't read his mind during the time we spent together. What I looked at as a friendship with occasional sex could have been more to him. I needed to tread lightly and treat the situation with as much delicacy as I could.
When I reached the room number he was in, I knocked before peeking my head inside. I saw him sitting at the edge of the bed with a book and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. "Hey," I said.
"Hey yourself." He grinned. He stood up and I walked deeper into the room. "Welcome to my umm...humble temporary abode."
"You're an idiot," I joked. He wrapped his arms around me for a hug and I tensed when it lasted longer than expected. I guess it was normal for us before Syn came, but now that he was here, this felt off. I pulled away subtly and forced a small laugh. "How did you manage to get yourself in here."
"I uh..." he sat down. "I'm not exactly sure. One minute I was at a dinner with some friends, then the next I'm here."
"I was just messing with you," I said. "You're usually a lot more careful is all."
"Well." He sighed. "Mistakes happen. This will now be added to my list of most humiliating moments and I will forever be more careful."
He grinned at me and I smiled, letting the slight suspicion in my bones fade away. I was thinking way harder than I needed to. "Good."
We remained quiet for a few seconds, neither of us knowing what to say and he finally spoke up. "I've been calling you..."
I grimaced. "I haven't had my phone in the past couple of days. It was hacked."
"By who?"
"Well if I knew..." I said.
His smile spread and he laughed. "Right."
There was another awkward silence and I took a seat beside him knowing that it was now or never. I needed to tell him that I couldn't see him in that way anymore. Our arrangement would need to end today.
"Can I—"
"We need—" We cut each other off and both burst into laughter. "You go ahead."
"I wanted to ask if I could ask you something."
"That's kind of redundant," I joked and he nudged me with his arm. "Go ahead."
"A few nights ago at my parents' place, I saw you leave with your ex. You basically ran out," he said. "I didn't want to say anything on the phone in case he was around, but is he the reason you haven't been home? If he's hurting you, you can—"
I shook my head quickly. "No, no, no. It's nothing like that," I assured him.
"Oh..."
Oh...? I couldn't help but suddenly feel that he was disappointed that Syn wasn't hurting me. What should've been relief that I heard in his voice, sounded more like he was disheartened by my words...
I shook my head and I ignored the feeling, chalking it up to me wanting to see something bad in him to make ending things easier.
He was a good guy. I knew that.
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𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞
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