𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

85. 𝐴𝑛𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑀𝑒

Syn

I watched as she stared at me wide-eyed, her heartbeat quickening as I looked down at her. Her chest rose and fell quickly as she looked between me and the box in my hand. Her lips parted, nothing but a small breath coming out before she shook her head once again.

I nodded my head dramatically in response to her and she let out a small laugh, sniffling and wiping her eyes as she looked away from me. "I'm fine doing all the talking, but I'm going to need you to at least keep your eyes on me." I held the box in my hand, using my index finger to guide her face back to mine.

When she locked eyes with me again, my usual confidence cracked- only for a short moment. It was the effect she had on me. Where I usually got what I wanted out of people, she was different- unpredictable. It was one of the things that maddened me when we first met, but I fell in love with it just like I did with everything else about her.

"I lied to you back there," I admitted. "Sort of." I tilted my head in thought. "See...when I asked you to marry me, I wasn't asking for some appearance thing. That was bullshit. I wanted to see your reaction because your eyes always tell me what I need to know, even if your lips don't." I rubbed my thumb across her soft lips.

I dropped my hand, taking a step back before slowly dropping to one knee and Queen covered her mouth, the tears she was holding back falling down her cheeks.

I looked up at her, an image of the past flashing through my mind when we were in this exact position. She was crying just like she was before. The only difference was that she wasn't pregnant with my child but I planned to rectify that soon enough.

My chest ached for a moment, the memory of the missing part of this equation no longer here, but I knew my daughter.  And if she were here she'd be screaming her head off and bouncing around, begging me to ask her mother the question. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting my mind fill that hole for me.

When my eyes opened, they landed on Xavia, sitting legs crossed on the floor beside me. She grinned at me, nodding approvingly with watery eyes before glancing up at her mother. I wanted to reach out and touch her, grasp onto her before she slipped away...but I knew she wasn't truly there.

I let that pain spread through my body before letting the image of her go and looking up at Queen. I still felt my daughter there as I held up the velvet box. So long as I never let my mind erase the image of her, she'd be with me always. That provided me with the strength to finally stop trying to be so strong and hold on to Queen with everything I had in me.

"Marry me," I asked her once again. I knew those words would come out of my mouth one more time in my eternal life. I didn't expect them so soon of course, but I didn't see the point in waiting anymore. There was nothing to wait for.

"Syn." She shook her head, sniffling. "You can't want to do this right now. We argue all the time. I literally just came here to apologize for an argument."

"What's your point?" I looked at her as she tried to convince herself out of giving me the answer she wanted. "We do argue all the time and we always will. That'll never change."

"So...why?" She asked weakly.

"Because there is no one else I'd rather spend forever being mad at," I admitted. "You piss me the fuck off— you're a pain in the ass most of the time. And I drive you bat shit crazy, but I am in love with you and I'd rather lose my mind with you than without you."

She wiped her tears away. "You were so much nicer the first time you did this."

"Well I've changed, and so have you. Which is why I'm doing this again, my way. Last time I had Xavier and everyone behind me and helping me with everything- but it's just me now. And I'm here just hoping with everything in me that that's enough for you." I clenched my jaw letting out a deep breath. "I know I'm not perfect. And I'm sure there is someone out there for you who would be a million times less difficult for you to love. But I am selfish enough again, to ask you to deal with me forever."