The Ground : Part One

twenty-six : on edge

Del walks in with a armful of wood.
"Let's get this party smoking." He's about to throw it on the fire.
"Hey, that's too much wood." I stop what I'm doing before he chars all of us.
"You don't want the fire too big. Maybe try to knock it down with some wet leaves." Octavia suggests while hanging a piece of meat up.
"You get that from your boyfriend, Grounder pounder?" Del smirks at his comment.
"Watch your mouth, Del." I threaten and walk closer to him.
"Oh that's right. We have two Grounder pounders in here." He steps closer to the fire.
"They're right. A hot fire is not going to preserve well." Murphy comments.
"You can't take the heat, get out of the smokehouse. Should be kissing our asses for being allowed back in camp. Just keep working." Del orders. We start working again.
In an instant, I feel hotter because Del threw the wood on the fire. Smoke leaks it's way into my lungs, and I start uncontrollably coughing roughly. I feel someone's arm snake around my waist. They pull me out of the smokehouse right before it erupts in flames. I hit the ground and immediately turn over, facing the ground. I'm still coughing.
Out of my peripheral vision, I see Bellamy comforting Octavia then he makes his way to me.
"Are you okay? Someone get some water!" He orders and rubs my back when I cough so hard that I gag. I attempt to take a deep breath as Clarke sits down beside me.
"Hey! Hey! Hey, stop! Save it for the Grounders!" Bellamy bellows and steps between Murphy and Del, who were fighting.
~a bit later~
"What happened?" Clarke asks, her vision focused on me.
"Del kept feeding the fire. Octavia and I told him we had enough. Then, boom." I reply with a hoarse voice.
"We have some wild onions and nuts in the dropship. It's only enough to last us maybe one or two weeks. What's left there?" She points to what was the smokehouse. It's just a blackened area on the ground now.
"Nothing." I look between her and Bellamy.
"It all burned." Bellamy finishes.
"Then we have to hunt. Anyone we can spare goes." Clarke decides. Bellamy turns to her.
"With the whole Grounder army out there?" He glances at me to see my reaction.
"Look. We can't defend ourselves if we are starving." Clarke crosses her arms. Bellamy gives in and calls everyone over.
"Each group takes someone with a gun, and they're for killing Grounders, not food. We don't have the ammo. Use the spears for hunting. Get what you can. Be back by nightfall. No one stays out after dark." He yells to all the delinquents.
"Stay safe out there! I'm one of the people who can tell you that the Grounders don't play when it comes to the safety of their own!" I yell with all my voice, still barely loud enough. Bellamy touches the small of my back, motioning for me to stop yelling.
I start to walk out of camp, but Bellamy stops me.
"You're coming with me." He motions for me to follow him. We are alone and walking through the forest.
"Aren't we supposed to have more than two of us?" I ask with a gun in my hand.
"You don't trust me?" He asks, scanning the woods, spear in hand.
"Well I do, but everyone else has group of three and four." I put the gun to my face and scan through the trees.
"We will be fine." He says and then a twig snaps beside us. I whip my head and see a familiar face peeking from behind a tree. I put my hand out in front of Bellamy.
"Wait." I walk forward some, peering around the tree. "Callahan! What are you doing?" I yell and relax.
"Lexa is worried. Why haven't you come back?" He asks and looks over my shoulder at Bellamy.
"We have a problem. I can't come back to Tondc yet. They need me here. I don't know when I'll see you all again." A sad look crosses my face.
"Well, um, just be safe. I'll see you the next time I see you." He walks away.
"Cal! Be safe. There are many people out on watch looking for Grounders. We are under attack. All of us are on edge." He nods in understanding and runs off. Bellamy and I continue to hunt.
~later~
We are still hunting, but Bellamy found a small cave for us to rest a bit.
"Briar. You know how we have always been close, right?" Bellamy sheepishly asks while I take a sip of water. What's up with him?
"Uh, yeah." I reply and hand the water to him. He takes a sip before speaking again.
"Well, I know you and Lexa are happy, but I've held this to myself for a while. I don't
think I can keep it anymore." He avoids eye contact with me.
"Bellamy-" I start.
"No, please let me say this. Please. I need to." He takes a deep breath in and lets it out. "Briar, I'm in love with you."
I look down at my feet.
"I've known since you got with Gavin. I just didn't know how to tell you, and now it's too late because you've already fallen in love with someone. I'm sorry. I just couldn't keep it to myself if something happens with the Grounders. I needed you to know." He looks at me with tears slowly filling his eyes. My face is full of shock.  I feel so strongly towards Lexa that this conversation feels deceitful.
"Bellamy-"