Just last night I relapsed once again. I'm absolutely terrified of stopping this addiction... yet I'm terrified also of leaving it in control. This life is one hell of a bitch. I'm good for a couple weeks, nothing is really wrong, then I just randomly get really bad urges for cutting that stay for days and never go away. I tried not to but after 2 days of constantly fighting it I gave in. A couple more scars means nothing to me. Cutting isn't good. But scars don't matter. My reason to stop is so I can be the best person I can be. I also need to regain control of my life and not let a tiny piece of metal constantly control my every move. Sometimes it's hard to deal with the pain in life, sometimes it's just hard to deal with life. But in the end life is always something to appreciate. To anyone who has ever thought about suicide I want to tell you something. Yes if you die there will be no more pain for you, but then there will also be no more joy for you. And all those around you will be struck with the pain that they never knew before. I've been there before but there's always another way. And no matter who you are you've already impacted someone's life in a way they will never forget. You are loved by someone. Maybe you don't believe it, but you are.
Have a good day.
