It's been a while since I wrote and honestly it's because I have been so fucking depressed I can hardly do anything... I've felt like giving up lots lately and have gotten so sick of fighting. I've been having horrible dreams about my grandma (who died 2 years ago in a car crash) and my grandpa (who has stage 4 cancer) dying... Horrible fucking nightmares... Constant nightmares... I've been so stressed out about everything... School, work, family, relationship, friends, cutting, depression, even my fucking stress is stressing me out... I have to write a math diploma tomorrow morning which I have written before and failed... Horribly...
To make it worse I now know that my parents are snooping in my fucking room because either my father or mother saw my 2 lighters and took them... They were for lighting my fucking candles... I'm pissed that I have no privacy. I need to fucking move out... But money... And life... And I can't deal with anything and there is no good fucking options right now. Everything is setting me off. I constantly want to cut. Gotta love going to school and having the teacher make you read a story about a man with "blueish-silver eyes like a razor blade"
Every fucking day is such a battle... I'm still fighting... But it just keeps getting harder...
