this changes everything. ⟲ wangxian

38. Regret & Redemption

Wen Qing is so still, Ah Xian starts speculating she has turned to stone. But then she lowers her eyes ashamedly and says quietly, "What I did was unforgivable, and I won't ask for your forgiveness... On the night of the scandal, it was no misunderstanding. Lan Clan Advisor and Lady Gu had planned the assault beforehand to testify against you."

"They... framed me? Wait, hang on just a second. I don't understand. Why would they do that?"

"Because Hanguang Jun is betrothed to Lady Gu. The engagement of the century: the famed Hanguang Jun of the Gusu Lan Clan and the darling Gu Meiyou of the Yujing Gu Clan. Hanguang Jun was prepared to do what he had to for the clans... that is, until you came to Cloud Recesses."

There is a long silence. Ah Xian lowers his eyes gently.

"...so. That's why you stuck that needle into my neck. And Lan Zhan—"

Lan Zhan.

"I... I... I-I hurt him," Ah Xian feels a tear, hot and fresh, slide down his cheek. He murmurs, the words barely escaping his lips. "I was just... I didn't... and his face, oh, Ah Qing, by the gods. What have you done?" Ah Xian doesn't even realise he has buried his face in his hands until he feels hot tears leak from his eyes and smear on his clammy palms. He grits his teeth so tightly he tastes blood.

What has he done?

What has he done?

He wants to die.

"To this day—Ah Xian... listen to me—to this day, there are people who haven't forgiven the Qishan Wen Clan for Wen Chao's crimes," her sweet voice sounds raw, as if she were crying. This recaptures Ah Xian's attention, if only for a moment. "Ah Ning and I were always being hunted down, watched, differentiated... and Zewu Jun. He found us one day, and saved Ah Ning from being trapped in the Cage of Hellfire. Ah Ning would have died if not for him."

At this point, Wen Ning has wandered over and lowered himself onto the bench next to his sister. She doesn't look at him. He reaches for her shoulders and she grasps his hand tightly.

Ah Xian can tell Wen Qing is fighting whimpers, "The Lan Advisor swore he would protect us if I helped him, and if we didn't... he'd turn us in. I-I didn't know what else to do. He was dangerous, and I was just afraid. So I did it. I did the horrible deed, and I regretted every second of fooling you, Ah Xian—I hated hurting you." Her eyes brighten suddenly, expression transforming. "But then last night, you remembered. Despite the orientation bender and talismans. That was when I realised how strong your connection with Hanguang Jun was and... I couldn't bear to keep you apart any longer."

Ah Xian says nothing, basking in the light of his enlightenment.

The three of them sit in silence for what truly feels like an endless bounty of time. And in that time, Ah Xian wishes for nothing more than to close his eyes and drift away. Drift into a world where he and his Lan Zhan are together despite everything. No complications, no hurdles, no misunderstandings—just the two of them, and endless fields of snowy white bunnies.

"...I was framed... I was falsely accused... all to separate me from Lan Zhan. Zewu Jun and Lady Gu did this to me—to Lan Zhan... and now, Lan Zhan is gonna make the worst mistake of his life."

Wei Wuxian stands.

Headache long gone.

Mind set in stone.

He mumbles, "I'm sorry, if you would just excuse me."

He begins manoeuvring towards the door, brushing past the healer on his way out. Everyone—the three juniors, Wen Qing, Ah Ning—all glance up, wide-eyed, as he passes.

Jin Ling shoots to his feet from where he'd been reclined on the mat Ah Xian woke up on, "Where're you going?"

"I have a wedding to crash."

Ah Yuan makes an elated noise and leaps to his feet. His eyes are large and excited. He is jumping so high and happily, floating really, that Ah Xian is amazed.

"The wedding ceremony is fixed to start in less than an hour. At noon," Jingyi says. "I think if we hurry, I believe we could make it."

Ah Xian stops in his tracks.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold your horses, buddy... we?"

"Yeah, we! We're coming with you!" announces Jin Ling proudly.

"What—no. No. I can't let you boys do that, this could ruin your chance at ever finishing your education. You two still school in Cloud Recesses. You could be banned from ever going home," realises Ah Xian. "And Jin Ling, you're a clan leader. This could destroy your reputation."

"Who cares about that?" says Jin Ling. "You were wrongfully convicted! We're coming whether you like it or not."

"For once, we agree on something," says Jingyi flatly. "Rule 380–Uphold the value of justice. Rule 27–Do not fall to evil. Hanguang Jun always taught us that as the future of the cultivating world, we should pay more attention to morals and preserving justice than anyone. Clearly, Zewu Jun has abandoned both rules for good... it is only right that we come with you."

"He's right," says Ah Yuan. "The Wall of Discipline is important. But there's something that the Wall doesn't mention, which I think is really just as important as preserving justice.... maybe more important..." he trails off. Eyes gentle, crystallised in the morning sunlight. "Love, Brother Wei."

Ah Xian stiffens. He stares at the boy.

"Maybe you don't believe me, but it's true," Ah Yuan turns, and begins smiling vaguely, shyly, down as if replaying a secret treasured memory in his brain. "I actually believe in love now. Especially after what Sister Wen said. And what I've seen... so just let us come, Brother Wei, because we will no matter what you say."

"Yeah!" exclaims Jin Ling. "We'll follow you hot on your heels!"

Wei Wuxian is truly at a loss for words. The juniors stare at him, as if daring him to argue.

Then at last, Ah Xian smiles faintly.

"Alright. Fine then. The four of us." The three boys grin so widely and begin cheering like children, clapping each other's arms all over the place. "But we gotta hurry—come on!"

The quartet take off down the hallway to the front door. They fling it open and duck through one at a time, emerging into an open grassland that Ah Xian doesn't recognise. The elder is the last to depart.

"Hey! Ah Xian!"

Wen Qing. Ah Xian stops in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder. It's almost painful to look at her, but he holds her gaze across the large gaping space between them. At this distance, her dark skirt and cascading waves of brunette hair are like the fickle flames of a candelabra blowing in the gentle breeze. Her eyes are pain-licked and piercing in the morning light.

He more senses than hears her shout, "Good luck!" like a last farewell.

Turning his back, Ah Xian wonders if things will ever be the same between them again.