Anidita: Mending the relationship

THE SHATTERED LIVES: PART IX

She stood in front of me. Wearing a bridal dress. No doubt that she was looking like an angel, but the red colour was screaming me that she isn't mine. That she was never mine. That she is going to be someone else's. That I lost her.

She looked at me with those large doe shaped eyes. Anger. Disappointment. Hurt. Were the emotions, which they carried. I looked at her in horror. My brain stopped working and my body froze.

"Dekhiye na Barrister Babu, vivaah karne jaa rahi hu main. Bina bhes badle. Bina kisi ke ujjwal bhavishya ki aad main."

I hung my head down and fisted my hands in guilt.

How does it feel, Anirudh, when you both have swapped places?

"Aayenge nahi aap meri aur Samarth ki shaadi main? Vaise kaisi lag rahi hu main? "

"Bon.... " I paused, thinking what to say. What can I say? This is what I deserved for mentally torturing an innocent soul.

"Hmm? " She hummed, demandingly.

So she won't leave me so easily?

I fell on my knees, crying hard by now.

"Mujhe maaf kar do Bondita..... Bahut badi galti ho gayi thi mujhse. Aur apni galti ka ehsaas bhi ho gaya hai mujhe. Ab....ab toh maaf kar do mujhe. Main jaanta hu ki maafi ke layak nahi hu main, lekin tum....tum kuchh galat mat karo Bondita. Tum meri...meri galti mat dohraao. Please Bondita" I joined my hands, crying my heart out and asking for apology.

She came towards me and bent in front me. Slowly..... Very slowly, she forwarded her warm hands and cupped my face, making me look in her eyes, which I agreed for. I hoped for her eyes to be warm as they used to be and forgive me, but her expression was same. Emotionless.

"Bahut bura lag raha haina aapko? Aisa lag raha haina jaise koi aapse aapki duniya chhinne wala hai?"

She paused for a second, her eyes watering. "Mujhe bhi aisa hi laga tha Barrister Babu. Mujhe bhi yahi dard huya tha, jab mere shikshak babu, jo bahuvivaah ke khilaaf the, unhone meri.....meri aankho ke saamne kisi aur se shaa...shaadi ki thi"

I again hung my head down, crying bitterly. This is actually what I deserve. This is the pain which I should feel. As big is the mistake, as higher the punishment for it. Here, I was just getting my karma back.

She wiped my tears. "Aapki patni ki shaadi hai, yu rote huye aayenge toh achha lagega kya?"

I bit my lips, until I felt a metallic taste of blood. She got on her legs and went from there, to attend her wedding. I cried for a few minutes more and prepared myself for the upcoming. I can hide here, in the study, and avoid seeing the most horrifying scene of my life, but I won't. My heart should bleed in the same way as Bondita's bled when I married Manorama.

So I pulled my body and dragged myself to the hall. The mandap was ready with orange and white flowers. There weren't any much decoration as everything happened in a rush. My heart fell in my stomach looking at Samarth standing in the middle of the place. He was wearing a white bengali dhoti and topor, but he seemed dull. He had dark circles under his eyes and there was an unreadable expression on his face.

I glanced around and Samarth's mother wasn't there. Didn't he inform his mother about his marriage? May be he did, and she denied? Or may be she wasn't able to come? Or may be......

My thoughts came to a halt when I heard some jingling sound. I know this sound very well. Bondita. My heartbeat raced everytime the chhan-chhan voice echoed in the hall. I slowly turned around and saw Bondita ascending down the stairs with her friends. She kept on looking at me. Her eyes piercing my soul.