The Song

Part Thirty-Two

“I don’t get it,” I said slowly.

“You will,” Julia smiled, “I’ll be right back.”

I watched her walk back into the office building, leaving me stood on the sidewalk more confused than ever. What the hell was going on?

Not two minutes later Aston appeared at the door, coming out with his brow furrowed and a concerned look on his face.

“You ok?” he asked.

“This isn’t how it was meant to be!” I said, stomping my foot dramatically on the sidewalk.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want your things. I just wanted to slip out of your life so you could be happy and start fresh with someone who could love and remember you.”

“Jess…” Aston sighed.

“You can’t give me all of your money, and your home… and then go find happiness! It doesn’t work like that!”

“Babe listen,” Aston said, trying to steer me to a ledge around the side of the building so I could sit down and catch my breath out of view of passersby.

“Did you know about this?” I demanded, not giving him a chance to say whatever he was going to say, “Did you?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Your Mum told my lawyer that it would be best if I could help you out as much as possible. I wanted to give you a chance to find happiness too.”

“Why would you give me all of your things though?” I asked.

“I don’t need them,” he shrugged, “If I don’t have you… I don’t really have anything.”

“Aston…”

“I’m serious Jess. I love you like crazy and this is probably the last thing in the world I’d ever want to do. If I’m actually going to go through with it, I needed to know that you were going to be well taken care of and have everything you need.”

I dropped my head into my hands, tears starting to leak from the corners of my eyes. This wasn’t what I wanted, not at all. But it seemed that no matter how hard I tried to tell him I was helping him out, he didn’t want to do it.

“Jess,” Aston said, his hand rubbing up my back gently.

“God that’s nice.”

“What?” he asked, his hand stopping.

I let out a snort of laughter, realizing he probably meant the back rub. “I meant you trying to make sure I was taken care of. No one has ever treated me that way.”

“I know,” Aston said, “You always had hipster boyfriends that leeched off of you.”

I giggled, turning to look at him, “Of course you know that.”

“I know everything,” he said, “Which is why I think you’re crazy to want to disappear from my life.”

“I’m just scared,” I said.

“I know.”

“I woke up in a hospital bed with no memory whatsoever and this famous husband,” I replied, “I had no idea how I’d even met him and I’m not gonna lie, I was feeling pretty insecure about all of it. Especially when you keep telling me how much you loved me.”

“You thought you’d never be able to love me back?” Aston asked.

“Yeah, and I didn’t think that was fair.”

“It’s probably not,” Aston said, “But love isn’t always fair.”

“I guess.”

We sat in silence for a good five minutes, the sound of car horns and the hustle and bustle of London falling between us. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I was starting to see what everyone else wanted me to do.

My Mum wanted me to finally be like her, join the line of lawyers in the family. She wanted me to run from my problems and start fresh sort of like she had.

Aston wanted me to stay with him and figure things out, no matter how hard it was. He wanted to fight for our love.

And Julia…

“Ohhhh, that bitch!” I muttered.

“What?” Aston asked, a bit surprised at my outburst.

“Jules!”

“What did she do?”

“She tried to be mean to me on purpose,” I said, “To push me back towards you!”

“Did she?”

“Yes,” I said, “I can’t believe her!”

“I told you, she cares!” Aston said.

“Still!!! I was so mad yesterday!”

“It worked though, you can’t knock her too hard.”

“Shut up!” I muttered, giving him a light swat on the stomach.

“So…” Aston, “What are you gonna do?”

“What?”

“They’re waiting for you to come in and finish all of this.”

“Oh god, I don’t know…”

“If you really want this, and I mean, really want it… I’ll go and sign those papers for you. You can go away and find yourself and do whatever,” he said, “But just know, that no matter what you say, I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“That is exactly the opposite of why I wanted to do this,” I said.

“I know.”

“You’re not going to give up are you?” I asked.

“No,” Aston smiled, “Not until we’re both happy again. Together.”

“Were we really happy? You and me?”

“Of course,” Aston smiled, “Like we were walking in the clouds.”

I felt that weird clench in my heart again. I’d had it a few times but this was the most profound, like my soul was trying to tell me something. But I had no idea what.

I dropped my head into my hands again as the feeling washed over me, the notes of the song I’d played on the piano the night before starting to run quietly through my head. I must have been so happy if that song was truly based on my relationship with Aston.

“That’s exactly what the song I played last night sounded like,” I said quietly, “Like floating.”

“Because that’s what it is.”

“Right,” I said, heaving a deep sigh and brushing the tears out of my eyes. I hated that I was such a mess over this entire situation. I hated that I was letting it get the better of me.

“So what we gonna do?” Aston asked.

“Can you just take me home?” I asked.

“Home? You’re sure you don’t wanna go back inside?”

“Not like this,” I said.

“Right.”

I followed Aston around the building to where his car was parked, the pair of us climbing in and leaving without a word to anyone. The ride was silent and when we got home I went straight to the kitchen.

“Please don’t say anything,” I said as I took a beer from the fridge, “I know I’m not supposed to, but I need it.”

“I was going to do the same thing,” Aston said, “Only I thought you’d say something because it’s so early. It’s just gone noon.”

I smiled faintly at him, taking another beer from the fridge and passing it to him. We both had a sip, setting our drinks on the counter almost at the same time.

“Come here,” Aston said as we stood there awkwardly. His arms were outstretched and I immediately fell into them. “It’s gonna be ok,” he said into my hair, his hand rubbing my back gently.

“I just want to be happy again. Both of us.”

“We will be,” Aston replied, “We just need to figure it out. Together.”