The Song

Part Seventy-Four

We both stood in the front room of the cottage, face to face with tears in our eyes. This was the moment everything over the last six months had been mounting to. The truth was out now, the memories were there, and I felt everything crumbling down around me. I’d said some horrible things to Aston right before the crash and now it was time to set things straight.

“I’m so sorry I’m so horrible,” I cried.

“Oh babe you’re not horrible…” Aston sighed, breaking the silence and pulling me into him for a tight hug.

“I am, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated like I treated you.”

“Hey, it’s in the past. We’ve moved on,” Aston whispered, his hand rubbing down my back.

“I can’t believe you wanted to fix us, that you wanted to stay with me,” I said into his bare chest.

“I love you Jess.”

“But…”

“Stop Jess,” Aston said fiercely, hugging me tighter.

“I just don’t understand!!!”

“Well understand this… Without you I was nothing, I was hardly living. It was parties and drinking and lapping up the fame. I wasn’t growing, I wasn’t maturing, I was just caught up in that world. But then I met you and you were this radiant goddess, so confident and sure of yourself. And the way you played the piano… it mesmerized me. Pretty soon you were like a drug I couldn’t get enough of. I needed you and then I needed more of you, and in the process I fell so deeply in love with you that I don’t think I could ever truly live without you again. You’ve intoxicated me, but you also taught me how to live.”

“But…”

“I knew you didn’t mean it,” Aston said, pushing me away so he could wipe the tears from my eyes, “I told you all of this in LA… we were fighting over nothing.”

“We were,” I agreed, “I wanted to fix it. That’s what I was thinking about right before the crash, how I was going to apologize to you. But then I made a stupid mistake and landed us in this hell for the last six months.”

“It wasn’t hell…” Aston argued.

“Yes it was.”

“I don’t think so,” Aston said, one of his hands falling gently to my waist, “It wasn’t easy, but it was good for us. It proved that no matter what happens we can make it through… together.”

As his words sunk in, I felt him softly stroke the skin between my top and shorts. He was right, he was so right. “We did make it,” I whispered.

“And we’re stronger than ever,” Aston smiled, pulling me towards him for a long luxurious kiss. His hands wrapped tightly around my waist, I fell into his old, letting him support me as our lips stayed pressed together. He was the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and as we sealed our love with a kiss I felt my heart soaring afresh.

“We are,” I agreed as we parted, “So much stronger.” I leant in towards Aston again, biting his lip gently as a smile finally started to form on my face, “I love you so much Merrygold.”

“I love you more Merrygold,” Aston grinned, kissing me again, “Now how about we try to get a bit more sleep?”

“I don’t want another memory-induced nightmare though,” I frowned.

“Just remember I’ll be right next to you,” Aston smiled, taking my hand and leading me back up to bed.

We climbed in under the duvet, cuddling close together as I tried to close my eyes and turn off my brain. It was no use though, there were still things to discuss.

“Aston, one thing…”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“Be honest,” I said, “How do you feel about having baby?”

“I…”

“I mean, not like get started tonight, but soon,” I interrupted, “A few months from now maybe?”

“Well…” Aston started, his hand stroking down my back deliciously, “I don’t hate the idea.”

“Really?” I asked.

“I think we’re ready for the next step,” he said, “We’ve obviously got a bit further to go with your memory, but I think we’re strong enough as a pair to start thinking about what’s next. What do you think?”

“I think you answered that perfectly,” I grinned, pressing a kiss against his chest.

“It’ll be so fun to have a family with you,” Aston said after a minute.

“I think so too,” I replied, “I definitely got my hopes up before, and was so heartbroken when that test was negative. I remember laying in bed thinking about you trying to chase a crawling toddler round the house and feeling my heart flutter with joy.”

“I always had these dreams of you teaching our baby how to play piano. You would do that right?”

“Of course!” I giggled.

“I’m definitely ready to start thinking about this,” Aston said, “As soon as we get your memory thing under control.”

“Just laying here I feel all the gaps filling themselves in… There are still huge holes, but it’s happening faster than I would have expected,” I said.

“That’s brilliant.”

“I remember introducing you to my Dad and Caroline.”

“The night of song number one!” Aston said.

“And I remember our first time. Well… both first times.”

“Cheeky!”

“You know what? I think we’re going to be just fine husband.”

“I couldn’t be happier,” Aston replied, wrapping me tight in his arms.

I closed my eyes at this point, drifting into a dreamy slumber. As the sun started to rise in the foggy forest, I dreamt of starting a family with Aston. I dreamt of us trying to change nappies and fill bottles, and of us cuddling our new baby warmly. Even though I knew this was a dream and not reality this time… I knew that it would be reality for us. Sometime. Sometime soon.