Lost Connections

Chapter 21

Alex~

"You've been acting weird all week, you're not getting away with an 'I'm fine'" Braydon said through the phone.

"We argued again. That's it." I said, completely over this Loel shit. I ran my hands through my hair. "I get it. You were right. I should move on, Amber is great, she really is and I do like her a lot than I've realized but I can't just forget about Loel as if I never loved her. She's still my best friend, I don't want to not associate with her anymore. I just... I just wish things would go back to normal. So she could be my best friend again and I could possibly be with Amber." I blushed a little while also crying.

Braydon sighed. "It doesn't matter that I was right. I'm just glad you've come to that conclusion. But you need to talk to Loel and you need to tell Amber how you feel, not that you just like her, everything. It won't just come to you."

"Believe me, I know that." I took a deep breath.

"Honey, someone is down here to see you!" My mom yelled from downstairs.

Amber or Loel? I asked myself, getting out of my bed and putting on a jacket, knowing I would want to talk on the porch. "Coming!" I yelled back, putting on my slides.

After I told Braydon that I'd call him back. I went downstairs and walked to the door, looking through the peep hole. It was Loel, her arms were folded and she was looking around. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Why didn't you tell me??" She said immediately after seeing me. "What?" I looked back and walked out of the house, onto the porch, closing the door behind me.

"That you were my best friend, what the hell?" She explained.

"I don't know... I thought you would like me if you didn't know who I was."

"I don't care about that... I love you as a best friend and that's all that matters. We may love each other and it may not be in the same way but we can't let that separate us."

"So you remember?" My heart dropped. I wanted to forget about that embarrassing moment. And the fact that she had forgotten made it so much easier to try and forget myself.

"Yes... my memories are coming back slowly. But it's ok... I believe you now, I know how bad I messed up."

From that point forward, I didn't really care what else she said. I may not have been fond about her getting her memories back but a huge part of me is relieved. She doesn't care that I like her, she doesn't think I'm obsessed with her and that's all that mattered to me. Plus the fact that I got my other best friend back. I hugged her while she was talking, we stayed there for a while.

I heard a car pull up, slowing its pace. When I opened my eyes to look, it sped off. But I knew it was brown. Amber has a brown car. Fuck.

----

Me and Loel decided to have a sleepover to celebrate her gaining her memories back. It was just like old times. I told her that I'm trying to move on and that I like someone else, which is what started this conversation:

"Ohhh, she was the one that took your hand that day and walked away with you?" Loel asked and I nodded. "Damn girl, you scored." She smiled and we both laughed a little.

"We met on the school field trip. Her cabin bed was beside mine. I find it so weird that she was my first kiss and first dance, probably a lot of other firsts too if we start dating."

"If? She's totally into you."

"I know but... she seemed pretty upset that I liked you, plus I think she saw us hugging."

"Well, shouldn't you talk to her?"

"And say what?"

"What you feel. You guys have gotten close in a matter of weeks... she's not someone you can just let slip away because you didn't know what to say to her."

I nodded and looked down at my nails, thinking about a different topic. "What about you and James?" I asked, wanting a specific answer. I may be trying to get over her, but I still don't want her with him, she deserves better.

"I'm breaking up with him tomorrow. I know if we hadn't gotten into that car crash, he would have tried to have sex with me and I wouldn't have wanted it. Not with the mindset I was in anyway. I don't know what he would have done if he knew I didn't want that with him... if he would force me or-"

"I get it. You don't have to explain yourself."

"There is this girl though..."

"Oh?" What? I'm genuinely curious, I guess. I remember wanting to be her first girlfriend when she told me she was bisexual. I remember being relived that I may have had a chance.

"Her name is Jen. I met her at a restaurant when me and James were on a date."

"Nice." I fake smiled.

"Oh! And I'll be in the hospital tomorrow so they can update me on everything."

"I'll come to visit."

~

The next day I went over to Amber's house. Her mom answered the door and insisted that I come in. I waited for her to finally come downstairs. She wore a dark green and black flannel and a black crop top under it. She had dark baggy jeans on and dark brown converse shoes on.

"Hi... I like your outfit." I said, leaning off of her kitchen counter. She laughed a little. "Thanks I guess. What are you doing here?" She stopped at the last step and looked at me.

"We need to talk-"

"Alex!" Don rushed down the stairs and hugged my leg. "Can we go to the park?" He looked at Amber. She nodded and we both held his hand, walking down to the nearest park. Which was very close because we've only been walking for few minutes.

When we got there he immediately let us go and ran towards the swings while me and Amber sat at a nearby bench.

"Talk about what?" She looked me in the eye as if she knew I was going to hurt her. I never want to see her eyes like that again.