Infinity (ENGLISH VERSION)

Chapter 98

I couldn't even sleep all night because the guilt I was feeling was destroying me.
How could I fall asleep next to Mason knowing I was going to leave him in less than a day?
I was the one begging him not to leave me because he needed a break, but now I'm leaving him.

Ruby had cleared everything with the publisher and she wanted to leave me and Mason alone tonight so we could talk in peace.

I'm sure she's going to some coffee shop or she's visiting the frat house.
I haven't been there in ages.
The last time I was at the sorority was when we all said goodbye to Trixie and Adam.

So there I was.
On the couch waiting for the love of my life to come home so I could tell him I was leaving him in less than 24 hours.
But we can have a long distance relationship.
It's hardly going to be that hard, is it?
I'll come visit him every weekend.
We'll make it work together.

I had already secretly packed my suitcase so Mason wouldn't find out.
This morning he had looked at me strangely because I had packed away my toothbrush, but I don't think he noticed anything else.

I packed up every picture with me and Mason and every memory I had of him so I wouldn't miss him too much.
I don't even believe that myself, I will actually miss him more than a little.

I was really sad to leave our beautiful apartment and leave my life here behind, but I had no choice.
But I do have a choice, but I'm convinced I'm making the right one.
At least I think so.

What if Mason got mad and never talked to me again?
I wouldn't survive that.
And it's only for a year, after all, unless I stay longer and move to New York for good.
What if he comes with me?
What if I ask him to come?
He loves me.
He would do that for me, I'm sure of it.

The door opened and Mason came in.
He looked tired.

,,Hey," I breathed.

,,Hey," he said.

He noticed my suitcases at the door and screwed up his face.
He gave me a questioning look, but I just silently knocked on the couch next to me to convey that he should sit down next to me.
He slowly approached me and sat down.

,,Listen to me first before you say anything, okay?" I said.

He nodded slightly, but listened carefully.

,,Ruby found a publisher for my book in New York and they want to see me tomorrow.
I have to go to the airport with Ruby tonight and move to New York for a while." I started to say and my heart was pounding.

He just stared at me silently before sighing softly.

,,I know," he said to my surprise.

,,What?" I asked.

,,I heard Ruby talking to Jones on the phone this morning and telling him about the news," he explained.

Damn!
Why does Ruby always have to make such a loud phone call?

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything.

,,How long?" Mason asked after a while.

,,1 year," I said.

He sighed again.

,,You're not surprised?" I asked.

,,People always leave, even those who said they would stay," he said.

,,Come with me," I said without hesitation.
He looked at me in surprise.

,,No," he said.

,,What? Why?" I asked angrily.

,,I have nothing in New York Britney you can realize your dream of becoming a writer, but my home is here.
I'm in the middle of my education and I can't just leave everything here," he said.

,,We will make it together, you just have to come with me," I pleaded while squeezing his hand.

,,I have nothing in New York," he said.

,,You have me!" I said.

,,I know, baby, but my life is here," he said.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces.

,,I love you and I'm not going to stop you from going to New York because I know it's your chance at something great, but I'm home here."

,,Mason you are my home!" I cried, sobbing.

,,You're mine too baby, but I can't live like this anymore.
Love shouldn't hurt, but for some reason we've both been destroyed by love," he said.

,,Please come with me to New York and we will make it all work" I begged.

,,I think it's time to let you go.
And that is so hard to do because I love you with every fiber of my body.
But this isn't healthy anymore and we've both known that for a long time," he said.

Mason pulled me onto his lap and took me in his arms.

,,Go, I'll wait for you here." he breathed.

He took my cheek in his hand and looked at me.
I pressed my lips to his and this kiss was so full of passion and pain that I broke.

We got up and we both went to the door.
I took my suitcases and my bag.
My cab was already outside and he was already waiting for me.
I turned to Mason and jumped into his arms.
I burst into tears, but he gave me a hold and hugged me tight.
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and kissed me one more time on the mouth.

I still believe that we are meant for each other, but we went about it the wrong way," he said while wiping away my tears.

,,Wait for me to come back," I said.

,,I will" he said with a weak smile.

I broke away from him and went to the cab driver who had already put my bags in the car.
I got into the cab and looked at Mason.

One last time I looked into the deep green of his eyes, I smiled at him one last time and left.
This time for good.

The car drove off and for the first time I didn't look back.

And I held on to something that was broken long before I knew it.
It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on to something.
The worst goodbyes are the ones that are never said, but the heart realizes it's over.
It hurts to say goodbye to someone you don't want to leave them.
But it hurts even more when you ask someone to stay even though you know they want to leave.
Sometimes in life you have to make decisions that will break your heart, but give your soul its peace.

I am sure Mason and I are soul mates, but maybe just in another life.