A Teen's Guide to Life

There are stairs right there...

In every friend group, there is one. They have to be the sane ones, the normal ones. And it is a lot of responsibility being the one in a group of people who are completely crazy, who looks at a fifty foot tall cliff and saying

"Um guys? You know, there are stairs right there, we don't really have to jump......"

Because half the time it never works. In fact, why are we being so optimistic? It only works once a century and that's being generous. So instead, the poor responsible person has to physically restrain three or more crazy people, which is a full time job.

The responsible ones are the people gripping as hard as they can onto seatbelts once the wild, risky people (let's call them Riska) decide that speed limits are for mere mortals. They're the ones who are so scared they're drunk and start thinking in odd ways.

Nice seatbelt. Good seatbelts keep their passengers safe. You wanna be a good seatbelt don't you huh?

Then you hear Riska number two, sitting in the passenger seat finally taking pity on the poor responsible person and sounding way too calm while telling Riska number one to slow down. When you hear Riska number one respond, you change your mind. Because Riska number two sounds properly concerned while number one doesn't even seem to care that they're driving to their deaths-

There's a squirrel. Guys no we cannot hit the tree for points. No harassing old ladies! EYES ON THE BLOODY ROAD!

They're the one who is singing One Direction while the rest are singing Rihanna.

They're the ones saying everybody hold hands and sing Lean On Me while the rest of the group is dancing around wildly singing Another One Bites The Dust.

Honestly? I feel for those poor people. I had to be the responsible one for a day. Yeah, it didn't work so well. Let's just say that day, the security guards at a mall really didn't like us.

Anyways, what really happened was that I got tired of being a sane person. So, I figured, why not buy candy and liven things up?

I forgot one thing. These are a group of people who are already bat shit crazy and extremely lightweight when it comes to sugar and sugar highs.

Um, guys, maybe we shouldn't go inside the white van, I don't think there's really any candy....

Um guys, maybe you're all a tad bit young for sex.

I should be a teacher.

Children, don't have sex. You will get pregnant and you will die. 25 year olds, get pregnant all you want. Now, remember to brush your teeth two times a day and use deodorant cause you smell.

See? I told you. Man I'd be a great mom. Ok, so maybe I copied part of that from Mean Girls but that's not very relevant.

Mommy? I don't think we should be doing this.

Don't be ridiculous, of course we can.
*get arrested.*

But now I'm getting off topic. The point is, the only reason why half of you aren't arrested is because of this one responsible person. Because while you let out enough curses that even pirates learn new words, responsible lady (Whom we are going to call Sain. Look at me with the whole reverse spelling. I should get a cookie nudge nudge wink wink.) is still using words like
Great Scott!
Jiminy Cricket!
Merlin's pants! (Haha Harry Potter reference amirite ladies.... and gentlemen)

They're most likely hoping to influence you into stop cursing. Unfortunately it normally doesn't work but hey, it's the effort that counts right?

You know, just ignore my foot that is conveniently placed in your way when you go off about how fun is overrated. Because candy is a necessity to life.

And I need my candy.

Even if it means I have to dive into a white van to get it.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn't be the normal one in the group. I'll just send everyone to their deaths extra early. Extra, because they'll probably already die early.

But hey, think of the plus side. At least the responsible one can skip out on daily workout sessions. Which, we still skip anyways. Unless you know, there's a hot gym instructor. In which we go to plan b.

Hot freaking gym instructor come light my fire.
***

I am so sorry that this isn't all that long or funny.

To all the Sains out there, you deserve a cookie for being so good.

Are you a Riska or a Sain?

Or a.... Rain? Siska?

Lucy