A Teen's Guide to Life

A verb or a fill in?

Lucy wants to like, attack the people who like, speak in this like, manner.

Because like is a verb last I checked. Then again, last I checked was a while ago. Hmm, when was the last time I checked?

Now that I think of it, I actually never checked. One second. Let me go check.

Yep. Still a verb.

Anyways, it seems like now everyone is just using "like" so many times. Way too many times. But hey, while you're at it, you might as well also say "gag me with a spoon" because one day it's going to happen anyway.

I can never stand those people with that way of speaking without feeling the urge to throw them off the nearest mountain. But I'm not really near a mountain so I settle for punching them in the nose.

Correction: I'll settle for shooting death glares and imagining that I'm throwing them off a mountain.

See? I'm being eco-friendly, by not wasting gas driving to a mountain. Some harmless imagining never hurt anyone. Take notes everyone.

If I had a conversation with my friend, Kayla (no her name is not Kayla. I'm not stupid and I will not be arrested because I gave up her identity. I'm not ready to walk outside and seeing a cop saying "Hello, Lucy? You're under arrest.") about this, this is probably how it would go.

"Are you threatening me?"

"As Stone Cold Steve Austin would say," Hell Yeah!"

"Well if you throw me, I will throw you as well."

"Are you threatening me?"

"As some random wrestler would say, Hell Yeah!"

Ok, so maybe that was just a teensy tiny bit random, and by teensy tiny, I mean really really random. But hey, in my defense, I just really felt the need to write that down. And what use is a teen's guidebook with no random rants mixed in here and there, sprinkled all over?

But anyways, as you can see, we have such a great friendship.

Now I want you to read the next paragraph and try to not roll your eyes and punch someone.

Because I don't want to be responsible for someone being sent to the hospital.

And I really don't want people to think I'm promoting violence.

"I'm like, so disappointed that he like, never called me back after that date we hate. I like, had so much fun and I like, thought he did too like, he seemed as if he like, was enjoying himself."

"And you are like, not a "valley girl" so like, stop acting such as one like, it's really like, annoying."

Sweetie, I wouldn't call you back either if I was your boyfriend or your date and you spoke such as you do now. I'd probably never even sit down near you (not with wanting to punch you- and I probably will actually go through with it and punch you.)

It's okay to use the occasional 'like', but don't spew it out over and over again.

You can "like" chocolate or "like" candy. That would be correctly using the word, and I probably won't punch you. Probably, because if I don't exactly like you, I'll end up punching you anyways, one way or another. Afterwards in which I would go and steal all of that candy and chocolate because hey, I like chocolate too.

It's a universal thing.

If you're a "valley girl" please please please stay far, far away from me because if not, I can't guarantee that I won't try to remove your tongue out in whatever, whichever, way possible.

So maybe we should call them Delia. So maybe, Delia should really record herself and then play it later. Maybe the she'll see why she has no friends and why everyone hates her. Then again, I could be a nice person and help Delia along by recording for her...

Nah.

I'm far too lazy for that. Damn I really want a nap right now. Anyone else want a nap? Serves me right for staying up until one on a school night.

Oh well. No regrets.

It isn't my fault that there was a new Tyler Oakley video I never noticed earlier. I just couldn't resist. Come on, it's Tyler Oakley, Queen Tyler, Tyler the Cute Teddy Bear.

Thanks a lot Tyler. Look what you made me do. This is all somehow your fault.

Ok this has gone way too far off topic. How did I even get to Tyler Oakley? This is probably a sign that I should stop.... like now.

So to wrap this chapter into a nice, tight, and pretty bow, I would like to say that I'm not threatening you or anything, but this is what I'll tell you if you ever overuse the term "like".

I will throw you.
***
Yeah, I am so threatening you.

Heeeeello gorgeous!

....or handsome

Which ever you prefer.

So are you a Delia?

If you are, I want to remind you there is no hate. This is purely for entertainment, I actually don't mind this...

..Too much if you get my drift.

There's the cover on the side or at the top if you're on a smartphone device. (I hope)

So, who is still reading this? If you are, comment "Tyler Oakley is my queen."

(MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!)

(tomorrow being August 20th of course. Same as Demi Lovato.)

Can we get two comments and one vote?

Lucy