A Teen's Guide to Life

Dog's a man's best friend?

Hello, how are you today? Good, good. That's very nice to hear.

So today, we are bringing back an old patient of ours, he traveled quite a distance, came all the way from Fuckboi Island. I'm sure you all will recognize him.

So everyone please give a warm welcome to-

Jerko stop moving around! You're supposed to pop up when I say your name, not before.

Anywa- Jerko stop looking at Rammag's rack! I get she can be a nerd, no that doesn't mean she can't have a rack.

Alright that's it I'm taking all of your expensive hundred-dollar shoes away. Why do you even waste a hundred-dollars on freaking shoes?

But wait... are these size tens? I have a friend who's a size ten, and it's his birthday tomorrow! Thanks man, now I don't have to spend money on a present. Hello future new car.

So we already had a chapter where we talked about Jerko's. Until, I realized I didn't mention all the crap flying around with them. It was only the origin story. And what kind of guide would this be if I didn't tell you everything that is to be expected? The answer is, it would still be a bomb dot com one. But hey, a little extra information never killed anyone. Unless it's extremely secret information that no one wanted to be known. Then you might die.

Or if you knew information the enemy wanted.

Or if you hacked SHIELD.

Or if you ran away from ISIS.

Ok so maybe a little extra information could kill someone...

Oh that reminds me!

This guy yelled at me saying I was part of like Al Queda. Like, me? No. I'm an atheist, sorry. But I didn't say that. I said:

"But I can't be in Al Queda. I'm not old enough, I just sent in my form for ISIS and they rejected me. How could I be in Al Queda?"

So maybe that had nothing to do with what's going on and it wasn't even funny. But I still felt the need to share that information.

So stop judging, I'm punk rock.

Yeah let's just move on and forget I said anything.

So here all the heroic exploits and actions of a Jerko.

Anyways, for example, Jerkos seem to have Tourettes Syndrome because the darn idiots just can't stop making noises. Mouth popping, fake coughing, just making noise all together, they're like that.

It appears there are allergies, even in the winter. Our team in school is legitimately out of tissues. There are no more tissues left due to the inexplicable need to fake cleaning out the nasal passages. A.k.a due to males meeting up while pretending to blow their noses.

And it is ticking me off.

Hello, there are real sick people here. Real sick people who need the tissues in real life. And we can't all use our sleeves seeing how it's freaking spring going to summer and none of us have sleeves.

Roasted.

When you're having a good day, you're a bouncing ball of joy. When you have a bad day, you stay quiet and just seem pissed.