A Teen's Guide to Life

Spit is not good

Hey. What's up? I'm supposed to put clothes on, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, wake my brother up, and save the world at the same time. And I'm just here like

If I wanted to do that, I'd have to be an octopus. Then that leads to a whole deep mental conversation wondering if octopus can actually brush their teeth and I end up not doing any of the above listed stuff. So I'm here hustling my butt off trying to do them all at the same time and yeah, it's not going well.
------------------------

Look at me, warming you up with a mini rant before I start the real one! It's like giving you a yummy tasty appetizer so your stomach is just waiting for the main meal! Good job Lucy, pat on the back for you. But now, the real rant starts.

You know those people who need their morning coffee and seriously need to pee? Except, it's not really pee, but rather to scream their heads off at the nearest unsuspecting citizen? And the finally, someone approaches them and kindly asks how was their day and-

Their faces turn beat red and the floodgates break down. The next thing that poor student is trying desperately to merge with the wall behind them and at the same time find an umbrella to shield themselves from the spit flying at them at a hundred miles per hour. Suddenly the student is instead awkwardly petting the girl's back while trying to hold herself as far away as possible because-

Oh dear, I've confused you all didn't I? Well backtrack. So this girl who we're going to called Spitball has had a terrible day. Except you know, they have a terrible day every. Single. Day. And the terrible things don't seem so terrible either. So this is how things normally work out:

Ian and Anthony were skipping down an alleywa- crap that's not right.

Spitball was sitting in a chair her face so terribly downcast. She was practically begging for someone to come and ask how there life was going so she could just rant. And then... an unsuspecting student finally comes up and innocently just wants to know how her day was.

Wait, what crap am I spewing. Sorry, I haven't taken my meds yet. Give me a sec- done. Ok so let's face it. No middle schooler would truly be innocent and ask what how your day was. It normally goes like:
"Yo, you, yeah you, what's up bro! Wanna smoke weed and-" and that moment they would be cut off because Spitball took that as an invite to speak about how terrible her day went.

Suddenly everyone is ducking because it's raining spit mother buckers.
That moment, she also breaks down crying so the poor person is ducking spit while trying to be supportive at the same time. And by being supportive, I mean shoving a load of tissues at her before hiding under a table.

Finally, you cut her off somewhere between,"One Direction still didn't come out with a new album" and "The teacher told me I couldn't switch seats!" and gave her the first excuse that popped up. "Uh... I just remembered. I have to go walk my uhh.... pet ummm....pet rose! And um.. water my kangeroo." before skedaddling out of there and swearing silently never again.

So the Spitball turns to another girl and before you know it, that girl says "Look a koala bear!" And while Spitball was looking around wildly trying to locate the koala bear, the girl running for the hills and not looking back. Mind you, this girl hasn't exercised a day in their life so this is actually pretty good for her.

Anyways, Spitballs shrugs and moves on. The next thing you know the entire class, who are all lazy booties, are running their tushies off towards the door, going as far as to pushing other out of the way. They're all claiming to have some appointment they're currently missing.

Poor Spitball is just left there wondering "What the heck just happened to my eyebrows?"

But hey, at least you get to skip the daily trip to the gym because of that massive workout right?

* * *
So how was it? Do you know of a Spitball? Are you a Spitball?
Don't forget to review and vote. Who knows, you might even be able to get a cookie from the cookie jar. Or a goodie from the goodies basket. You never know.

Lucy