A Teen's Guide to Life

Slingies

I'm writing this for one sole reason, Christmas is coming up.

NO I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S ONLY THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING OKAY?

The minute Thanksgiving is over, I bust out all of my Christmas decorations.

I don't do anything with them cause I'm a lazy person with no life staring at my computer all day, but I still have them out.

Sides, I know the minute Fourth of July is over, stores all over immediately put up Halloween decorations.

Not that I mind of course.

But I decided I might as well write down my life's needs in the world.

I want

-Louis Tomlinson under my tree. (NO MOM I DON'T WANT SOCKS)

-preferably the rest of One Direction (I'm sure you can make it fit.) because holy fuck Niall is the cutest Irish snowflake there is, Liam is DADDY, Zayn (I don't care. As far as I'm concerned he still counts as part of the band.) has features that make you believe in God, and don't even get me started on Harry.

Actually, my reaction to Harry is mild compared to my reaction to Louis-

HE'S SO DUCKING HOT UGHH AND SO CUTE AND I CAN'T HANDLE THIS AND HIS EYES-

-because I am a Louis girl tall and proud and if you have a problem with that you can take a long walk off a short pier.

-Little Mix under my tree too because I am so invested in them now there's honestly no way out. BUY GET WEIRD ON ITUNES NOW!

-tour tickets (PLEASE LET THERE BE ANOTHER TOUR THAT I WANT TO GO TO IN WINTER PLEASE)

-preferably 5 Seconds of Summer under my tree too because holy frick Luke is a fucking adorable breadstick, Calum's a hot Asian (I swear if there are any Kiwi comments...) Michael is an adorable kitten, and Ashton's just the greatest kangaroo there is.

-ONE DIRECTION TO NOT BREAK UP OKAY I NEED YOU

-Fans to stop crying about a possible break up and just enjoy the little time we have now.

-oh God please make 18 months pass like Flash running for food.

-PHAN TROYLER AND JASPAR TO JUST COME OUT ALREADY JESUS CHRIST WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE COUPLES JUST DO IT ALREADY

-Caspar to stop fucking staring at me with those fucking blue eyes on his vlogging channel because holy apples on a tree those eyes are heaven

-Caspar to give me a piggyback ride because I'm too fat for Joe (and Caspar too but I watched his T shirts video and lord have mercy he let a girl jump on his back and the jealousy I felt because she's so skinny and pretty and it must be nice to smell Caspar.)

-JOE TO PRANK CASPAR MORE AND FOR CASPAR TO LAUGH MORE BECAUSE HIS LAUGH IS HEAVEN AND I AM TEAM JOE FOR PRANKS NO REGRETS 2K15.

-just for a good future

-give my grandpa at least three more years at life. I'm being selfish but I need him, my mom needs him.

-good grades.

-a slinky.

Yes, a slinky. I think slinkies are the greatest thing in the world and that everyone should be slinkies.

(It would be fun to throw them down stairs then...)

Because they're so much fun to play with. Who cares about showing how waves move or something, I WANNA PLAY WITH THEM IT'S SO ADDICTING TO JUST BOUNCE THEM.

I've been trying for years to get a slinky for Christmas, my birthday, my brothers birthday (god dang it if he gets stuff why can't I- NO YOU CAN'T GET GIFTS ON MY BIRTHDAY THEN THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS) and no success.

My friends (yes Lucy has friends surprise surprise) keep sending me Itunes cards (which are useful for buying albums) and I want you to keep giving me them.

BUT.

BUT.

To those who don't know what to give me, BUY ME A SLINKY MINE KEEP GETTING TANGLED AND MY PARENTS DON'T SEE THE IMPORTANCE OF SLINKIES (*pulls out knife*) SO I NEED SOMEONE TO JUST BUY ME A SUPPLY OF SLINKIES.

BECAUSE SLINKIESSLINKIESSLINKIESSLINK-

I am calm.

~
No I'm not.

So um, yeah this isn't a guide book I think it's already been agreed that I kinda use this book to rant.

I'll continue posting about the different people though, pinky promise.

Comment "Lucy deserves a slinky for Christmas."

And I'll admit this is a bit short but it was a rant so I didn't want it to take long.

Aka it's 700 words when I try to take my chapters to 1000 words.

Two comments and a vote?

Lucy