A Teen's Guide to Life

What family crawled up your butt?

"Oh my god, Lucy stop taking a break! The project is due in three weeks and we have to start working on it-"

Woah. Rewind. So, this is about those people who are so strict, they have a whole family up their butts. And not only that, but that family just got pregnant and had tons of babies each day.

(Aw, babies)

One day, that family clearly decided to bring in a stick because honey, she started glaring at people and becoming a freaking grammar Nazi.

"Oh my god it's you and I, not you and me. Get it right."

"It's g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s not g-l-a-m-a-r-o-s."

And she wonders why she has no friends. Girl, loosen up, live for the moment, and try to get rid of that family. At least send some of those children to school. They can't skip school and smoke weed while we suffer through the day.

Huh? What do you mean I said smoke weed? I said that they couldn't um... eat cupcakes and grow fat.

Yeah, eat food and grow fat.

Story of my life.

I mean, I get it if the mistake was terrible. I get it if it's so unbearably far from English that you can read Braille better than you can read the sentence. But if it's just a simple mistake, no need to rant about it.

Now that I think of it, a GN (Grammar Nazi) is almost similar to Sains. I mean, both really responsible, all about getting things done-

Oh wait. I'm forgetting a very important detail. GN's are crazy perfectionists on just about every detail in life.

Never mind. Forget I said anything.

These people are the ones who you fantasize about sewing their mouths together. The ones who idolize Hermione Granger pre- Chamber of Secrets (because we all know that's when she starts to loosen up). The one who writes a five-page essay due in a month about apples.

Apples, people. Am I the only one seeing problems with that?

I mean, yes there is a lot about those amazing red fruits of wonders that can people don't know, but five pages? I'm a rather great learner if I do say so myself, and the best I could come up with would be:

"So apples are red, but they can be yellow or green. And uh, there are different types and uh..... an example would be Fuji which is one of my favorites and.... they have seeds and stuff."

Wasn't that beautiful? Besides who needs to start early when you have Wikapedia. Because we all know most people just wait until the night before to wrote their essay, which just happens to say a lot like something Wikapedia has. As in, it was typed up word for word.

We'll call this person Rammag.

Now Rammag is the person who makes people pray to every deity above that she will not come to school. Clearly, certain someone's weren't listening because oh look, she's here.

And she marches up to the front and she reads all three pages of that essay.

Lunch is in two minutes.

Am I the only one seeing a problem going on here? Because there is a lot.

Not to mention halfway through, she starts telling a story about her eating an apple. Honey, no... Just no. I'm pretty sure that we're all big boys and girls now. We should all know the experiences of eating an apple by now.

By the time she finishes her essay, lunch is over and we're all ready to do some slaughtering and kill that son of a daughter. Come on, we're growing children and we need our food.

Next time, just write apples are nice on the day before and be done with it. Who knows, we might even share some of our gold fish with you.

...Nah, everyone prizes their own food too much to share. Maybe next year.

Because I ain't using my time that I could be eating an apple to write some essay about apples. After all, why wrote when you can eat?

If you are a Rammag, I only have one thing to say.

Here's the lube honey.
***
...so get that stick out of your butt and enjoy life. I will hold off my project until a day before it's due if I want to and you can't stop me.

So, this is like, my 10th chapter. We reached the two digits!

So are you a Rammag?

Don't forget to give me an apple after you vote/comment, my family is fresh out.

So I've made a decision. I'm going to make tons of different covers and post them with each chapter, even if they don't go with the chapter.

If I have a picture for the chapter, I'll use that instead but if not, it'll be a cover.

As you can see, the first one is up today!

Lucy