Stones' Diary: Built for Pressura'

Chapter 1.) Love Yours, 10 months later

There is a lot of misinterpretation about the effectiveness of love that holds us back to render affectionate emotions towards others. Love is not possessiveness.

Individuals look at love as a possession that has to be earned and conserved. To expect that others have to provide it to us so that our life is loaded with love is the greatest error, which is a cause of considerable distress. Even if someone offers you plenty of love, you may not be able to feel it the way that they are hoping you will or can. Love is a sense of well-being and of good emotions. It is an uproar that keeps us in good spirit and is fancied to our emotions.

You should be able to engage and create the best feeling of this powerful emotion, by making yourself capable through all seasons in dealing with someone else or those around you. Whether it's intimate or dealing with family or a close friend. There is truly no set rule of how to love a person or when you should. It should be natural. Instinctive almost. Giving and receiving love should be like learning a second language; always interesting with something new to discover daily.

Lucky learned what love was and what it felt like from his late mother. But he also knew that love wasn't supposed to hurt. It wasn't supposed to be abusive or ignite fear. Something his stepfather bestowed upon his mother; the best woman, and best mother a child could ever yearn for. She didn't deserve the mistreatments she put up with just to provide. And he knew that as his relationship with Ava grew, he began to do things that he witnessed as a youth. He knew it wasn't right but he couldn't shake it.

But was there a particular way to love someone?

There truly was no certain way that a person was supposed to love another as long as the outcome was always positive. People frequently confuse lust with love. Lust was an intense sexual desire that often ignited or aroused physical pleasure. Love was a strong feeling you had for a person. It was an intense emotion that sometimes made you anxious but also at peace. People often failed to understand that love was virtuous. Deep in the soul.

Lucky grew to understand just how great love could be. He understood it so much that it terrified him and he used his fears as a way to push Ava away. He grew to understand that love was the best thing to ever happen to a person. Lucky knew he was in a bind and often felt remorseful for not being able to express how he truly felt about Ava verbally. He hated that he couldn't utter that intense, yet gentle word back to her. Just so she could understand just how much he loved her, and how much she changed his life for the better.

They were connected on a deeper level than they've ever been before but still, he wanted her to hear him say it at least once. But he couldn't. There was still a part of him that refused to allow him to show such vulnerability without pushing her away. It wasn't something he could fight. He's tried, and time and time again, he's lost. Their souls, their hearts were connected as one.

He only ever wanted to provide stability and security to her. He only ever wanted to remove her fears and doubts and replace them with hope. Belief. But he knew he fucked up. He fucked up a lot in the past and was often trying to right his wrongs. Some would argue that love was more of divine energy than it was emotional or mental.

Love is nothing but an internal need and the cause for feeling happiness. It fed the soul and made you glow. Love made you see the good in others, even if the world thought otherwise. Love is doing all that you can to make your partner feel good about themselves. Not breaking their heart and thinking a simple apology would ease the constant pain you bestowed upon them.

Love is boosting the confidence of a self-conscious person, who doesn't see the beauty in themselves the way that you can. It's not about tearing them to pieces where they have to second guess their worth and features. Love lives inside of us and waits patiently for you to treasure its gift with someone deserving. It doesn't wait for you to rip out their heart and step on it. It doesn't tell you to break their trust in you because you're confused. Afraid.