Stones' Diary: Built for Pressura'

Chapter 29.)

The thing about trauma and buried feelings was that once you release the safety from a bomb, you only have a few seconds to duck for cover, pray for peace in the afterlife or feel everything at once as your life flashes before your eyes. That's how things often were in Assyria's mind but she had a way of knocking out the bad and replacing it with the good when she needed to. But it was easier said than done. Some people knew how to handle tragedy better than others and some couldn't handle it at all.

Depression often overtakes a person's mind. Driving them into a dark hole that they can't pull themselves out of. Some people find themselves in too deep, they no longer have the strength to fight or search for the light. Some people use pills to assist and help them get through the day and fight the heavy waves. Some use medical herbs or exercise. Others may find themselves crying in Church daily instead of once a week.

But for Assyria, her traumas were a heavy load but with the help of her recent friends; the crystals, and her family. Sadly, she had quite a few more things in common with her mom but she wasn't anxious about it. The situation that she endured was something that she never wished for or expected could or would ever happen to her, but she was sure that's how other women and young girls in her shoes felt.

She and twenty other girls, out of the nine that took their lives and the thirty that the FEDs and families were still looking for, had made it out. Everyone didn't get to but she was blessed. Lucky if she would admit. There was a God. She was aware but she still wanted and hoped that the big man in the sky would give her some time to trust him and accept him into her life. If she were being honest, when her world felt so unfamiliar, the only thing that made her feel whole were crystals.

She could see why most people were against it, it wasn't for everyone, but they were for her. It was kind of the same as saying that the Church wasn't for everyone but it seemed as if the world wanted to push that agenda as much as they could. Did she mean that to disrespect believers of Christ? Not at all, but for Assyria, it was a way to show that just because one thing was praised and deemed as better than the other, doesn't make the other worst.

What works for one person isn't going to work for another, that was how the world was supposed to be. A balance. Good and evil. The right to choose as long as your intentions were always pure.

She never thought that her family would accept her way of doing things but that just proved to her that she didn't know them as well as she thought she had. But that was ok because it seemed as if although she thought they weren't paying much attention to her, be that as it may, at least they were paying attention to what piqued her interest. She was still trying to figure out what exactly it was that she wanted to do career-wise, but she would admit that she had a passion for fashion.

But what else? She had no clue. Other than music, trying to find a deeper meaning when looking at trees and flowers, crystals, and meditating, she wasn't sure what else she liked. Romance-wise, despite her circumstances, she was still attracted to men and women. Or maybe it was women and a man... Zaire. But how would that work out? How would he feel about dating a bisexual woman who got herself in a boatload of trouble because she didn't listen to his warning?

But then she pondered on it.

He's never judged her before. Maybe scolded her and told her things that she didn't like but needed to hear, but judging? Never. But what if eventually, she wanted to bring a woman home? What if she wanted to marry a woman? How would that go? She wasn't sure but now understood that she had time to think and really figure herself out. She didn't have to stress about putting a label on herself but she felt as if she needed to just so people, her family could understand her better.

"Lil mama?" King's voice pulled Assyria from her daze.

Tearing her eyes from the clear sky, she glanced at her father and smiled, "Hi."