20-year-old Assyria Adina Stone yearned for peace but favored excitement. She was in a lane of her own. Discovering herself. Physically, she was on earth, but mentally, she was living through her own fantasy. She was a young woman and wanted to expl...
How many times did you need to be hurt or humiliated before realizing that enough was enough? How much longer could you withstand being thrown in the fire, neglected, bruised, forgotten, damaged? How many times did you have to be tossed around like a ragdoll and thrown out like garbage after being used? Self-love was supposed to be the most captivating thing that life had to offer. But it was hard to do when you were looking for love in all the wrong places.
You're supposed to love yourself first before you try to love someone else or allow someone to love you. Because their version of love could be mistreatment and neglect. Things that you were running from but since they're giving you the attention you desperately yearned for, you stick with it. Putting up with the abuse. The lies. The games. Why? Because they're acknowledging you. Making you feel seen, even if it's not in the way that you deserve. Others see you. Some want to be like you. But some hurt for you. Pray for you.
Like a mother does. A mother's love is immeasurable. It's pure and divine. Something that'll never die but continues to grow day by day. There is absolutely nothing or no one that can come close to a mother's love. A woman that carried her child. Forming a bond within the womb and then bringing the child into the world. A child's cry is the first sign of love followed by the physical contact that comes next, that swells a mother's heart. Mom's are pure by heart. Their love. Their protection is like a blessing from God.
But Assyria had no idea how to deal. How to manage. She was a lost soul and afraid of loving someone who knew firsthand how it felt to feel empty inside. Constantly being afraid. She was someone who was waiting and wanting to be loved by any means. Pushing her family away. Keeping things bottled up. Allowing her pain to morph into anger and overpower her. Control her emotions. Cloud her judgment. In a sense, made her naive.
Wanting so desperately to hold onto her rage, she pushed those away who would have never hurt her in ways that she's been enduring. Allowing herself to be talked to like a dog. Handled like garbage. All for what? Because she was lost. Unhappy. Unsure of herself but trying to mask it with forced laughter. Alcohol. Partying. She knew it wasn't right but she had already let herself get in too deep.
Danger was lurking over the horizon. Taunting her. Waiting on the perfect time to attack. Laughing at her flaws. Poor decisions. She was beginning to hate herself. Her reflection. She messed up. Messed up big time. Knowing she was in too deep but had no right way to go, she continued to sink. Letting go of the anchor that was holding her up. She no longer felt worthy. Her spirit was crushed. Her body was no longer hers. It belonged to others. Them. Who was she?
"Long time no see," Sydney smiled softly as she joined Assyria in the breakroom.
It was March the 24th, the weather was warming up, the days were shorter and the nights were longer. Too long for Assyria but today was one of her good days. Sporting a hot pink cropped fitted jacket, denim jeans, and her hair was in a twist out, parted down the middle. She wore a pair of matching pink shades, rocked her crystal necklaces, with her rose quartz at the bottom per usual. She had gloss on her lips but seemed, different.
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